Oh, no! Frost warning for tonight says the weather report on my computer. It’s time to drag all the plants in containers inside. I don’t want to them to freeze outside.

 (Plant thinks: I’m not ready either. Guess my vacation is over.)

 I was especially ambitious this spring and put all my tropical house plants outside for the summer. They really get a boost of energy when you put them outside and grow like crazy.

It is best to have a shady spot, such as a covered porch, so they do not get sunburned. Unfortunately, I do not have such a place as my patio gets shade part of the time and sun part of the time.

(Plant thinks: Now you think of that. Its bit late after the damage is done.)

I am not really a gardening person, but I keep trying year after year.

(Plant thinks: Yeah, and you keep messing up year after year.)

Houseplants are native to the tropics and must come in if I don’t want to lose them. All my plants did okay outside except the corn plant, which did get a few spots of sunburn.

(Plant thinks: Good thing I’m not popcorn…)

The only things I did not put outside were the philodendron and rubber plant. If the philodendron does any better, I will be afraid to go to sleep at night less the vines creep up and strangle me.

(Plant thinks: I am the Rodney Dangerfield of plants. I get no respect. If I was a vine, she would be dead.)

My house does not have enough light, apparently. I have to keep them in front of a window or they drop leaves and die.

(Plant thinks: Duh! There are two things plants must have, water and light. )

“Will you help me bring in my plants?” I asked Honey. I can’t lift heavy pots of dirt.

 (Plant thinks: Thank God! Why didn’t she think of that when she put us out? What goes out must come in.)

So, my kitchen table is full of houseplants. Actually, I don’t think there was any frost after all my panic, but there will be sooner or later, so they might as well stay inside.

(Plant thinks: Just don’t expect me to grow much inside.)

Those plants all need to be moved to the window.

(Plant thinks: No kidding Einstein. I need fertilizer. How about a plant light?)

The corn plant didn’t seem worth saving, but I read an article that said they are easy to propagate. Maybe I can cut it up and make several new plants?

(Plant thinks: Help! She is going to butcher us!)

My green thumb is itching.

(Plant thinks: Her brown thumb is itching.)

That coleus is huge! It is going to have to go back outside.

(Plant thinks: Murderer! )

Honey is not going to be happy about lugging big heavy pots around. After all this trouble, I hope they all live.

(Plant thinks: I need to talk to the philodendron and see if it can do a job for me.)

On days like this, I wish I lived in Florida where it is warm year round.

(Plant thinks: I’m ready. Don’t forget the fertilizer)

Copyright 2023 Sheila Moss