February Wary

frostThanks goodness the month of February is almost over. It has been a clunker of a month. To be so small, February can surely be a horror. All the worst weather seems to hit in February. Hopefully, the month had its “last hurrah” with that last spell of snow.

Snow at rush hour is enough to freeze the blood and create terror in the heart of any southerner. The best thing about snow in the South is it seldom lasts very long. I used to live in the North and drive in it all the time. But I’m getting warm blooded like the rest of ’em now. A mild climate sure spoils you fast.

What kind of month is February anyhow with not enough days for a decent calendar page and then an extra one thrown in every four years just to confuse us more? It’s a month that is just destined to be a troublemaker – born with meanness written all over it. Most people can’t even spell it right without using a dictionary.

At the beginning of the month, there is all that groundhog stuff – varmints predicting weather and how long the winter is going to last. Of course, something that silly would have to be in February. When else?

Besides that, we have not one, but two President’s birthdays in the same month. Two favorite sons should be enough to dignify any month – but it seems to be just a bit too much for most people to have two famous folks to celebrate so close together – overkill, if you’ll pardon the expression.

Some people celebrate the official Presidents’ Day to get both days over at one time, but others stubbornly bake their cherry pie and celebrate on Washington’s Birthday. He was the father of our country, after all. Illinois totally refuses to conform and celebrates Lincoln’s birthday, insisting he is from Illinois even though everyone knows he was born in Kentucky. Figure that one out.

Even though the short month is already overloaded with holidays, Valentine’s Day also comes in February. That is convenient as it gives everyone the opportunity to use up all the red candles left over from Christmas, and also a chance to get romantic and cuddle since it is too dog-gone cold to do much else anyhow. What if Valentine’s came in August? It would totally ruin the mood – not to mention melting all the chocolate!

If you were born in February, please accept my sympathy. I was born in April, which the poet called “the cruelest month of all”. But what do poets know? February is definitely raw, cold, bitter and more preferable when its snow scene is turned over backwards on the calendar. Happy Birthday to all you leap year babies who have a birthday this year. February 29th comes only once every four years, another strike against this unpopular month.

I’m glad that March is almost here. The bulbs are practically vibrating the ground; they are getting so anxious to bloom. Frankly, I’ve never believed all that that stuff about March coming in like a lamb and going out like a lion. What would make lambs and lions any better predictors of weather than groundhogs?

Yes, February is finally over. Good riddance. Let’s go fly a kite!

©2002

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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites. SUBSCRIBE to my weekly columns hot off the keyboard and not available on my blog: humorcolumnist-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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8 Responses to February Wary

  1. There will be a snoopy dance here when the clock signals the end of a tenacious month. BTW January is the WORST month to be born in. I know that from experience. Too cold and most people are too broke to want to celebrate. Boogers! I celebrate my half birthday. Much more civilized. You will get spring before I do. Be sure to send it north by airmail special delivery.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. energywriter says:

    Funny and too true. To add to the February confusion, here in Virginia the Friday before President’s Day is Lee/Jackson Day, a legal holiday. sd

    Liked by 1 person

  3. George says:

    Ive always liked the month of March. The worst is behind us and even if we get something bad, it doesnt last long. I love the anticipation of Spring.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. BunKaryudo says:

    The one thing I will miss when February finished is being able to hug my wife at night to stay warm. February is a good month for cuddling. After that, it starts to get too warm.

    I agree with you about Valentine’s Day, though. I’m not sure how touched loved ones would be to open their beautifully wrapped gift box and find a puddle of chocolate.

    Like

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