Interview with Peter Cottontail

bunnyToday we have a special treat for you, an interview with a childhood favorite, the Easter Bunny aka Peter Cottontail.

Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule today. Mr. Cottontail. It’s sad but some people do not believe in you. How do you feel about that?

I don’t have time to worry about non-believers. I have a lot to accomplish and must stay on task to get it all done. After all, children everywhere depend on me to bring Easter baskets.

That is quite a large responsibility, isn’t it? Do you ever find it overwhelming?

Oh, no, I’m up to the job or I wouldn’t be the Easter Bunny. I do get last minute jitters when I see all those baskets in the warehouse, but once I get hopping, I’m okay.

How do you get so many baskets assembled in time?

kooleggsWe have a large crew of apprentice bunnies that work all year getting ready for the big event. We have basket weavers, egg decorators, candy makers. It’s a mass assembly operation. You really would have to see it to believe it.

Where is your headquarters?

Sorry, I cannot disclose the exact location of Candy Land. We would never get done if we allowed visitors to come sniffing around. Let’s just say it is somewhere down a rabbit hole. That’s close enough.

Isn’t it difficult to dye so many Easter eggs?

Actually, we have a crew of chickens that lay the eggs and decorate them. Some are very talented egg decorators and others cackle around all day. Thank goodness, we do not have to put up with as many old hens since plastic eggs came into vogue.

You mean chickens lay the eggs? I always thought Easter eggs were laid by bunnies.

Don’t be ridiculous. Biology is what it is. Chickens lay eggs.

colorpeepsWhat about chocolate bunnies and marshmallow peeps, you must make a lot of those?

Chocolate bunnies are not as popular as they used to be – too messy. Parents want their kids to have solid chocolate eggs wrapped in colored foil, something that doesn’t melt. Marshmallow peeps are out too. It’s just as well. Those things were so gross even the chickens didn’t like them.

Well, surely kids still like jelly beans? Easter isn’t Easter without jelly beans.

Yes, they are sticky, but we have to have something to go inside the plastic eggs. However, there has been a trend toward smaller gourmet jelly beans lately. I suspect the parents may be nipping on the jelly beans while the kids are busy hunting eggs.

Don’t you hide the eggs?

Of course not, where would I get the time for that? I deliver the goods. The parents can do a little something.

Where do you leave the Easter baskets when you deliver them?

No set rule on that. Some kids wake up and find them in the bedroom. If I get behind schedule, I just set them on the front step and ring the doorbell. Some of my bunny helpers think it is fun to hide the basket and make a spoiled brat look for it.

You seem to be willing to stay in the background. Are you a modest rabbit?

It would be embarrassing if I had news people or cameras following me around. I don’t want a lot of attention or compliments. I just want to get the job done and hop on to the next one. It is the nature of rabbits to be a bit timid.

So you don’t really want any credit?

Certainly not, remaining somewhat anonymous is the secret to my success. I am seldom seen, but kids always know I’ve been there.

Well, thanks again for the interview, Mr. Cottontail. By the way, would you mind putting a few extra gourmet jelly beans in my kids’ baskets? They are delicious.

©2013

Do you give your kids Easter Baskets? What’s in them? Do you like real eggs or artificial? What do you remember from your childhood about Easter?

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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites. SUBSCRIBE to my weekly columns hot off the keyboard and not available on my blog: humorcolumnist-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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8 Responses to Interview with Peter Cottontail

  1. I had no idea how sophisticated Mr. Cottontail was. Does he know the Tooth Fairy ? I hope he may give her a good swat in the jaw and poison her candy. The cheap witch never left me more than 40 cents for a tooth. It took forever to save up for my Monopoly game.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. George says:

    You learn something new everyday. I wonder if he, Santa, Cupid, the tooth fairy and a goblin ever get together and trade stories. Would be a heck of a dinner table.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sheila Moss says:

      I just interviewed a pink plastic flamingo, LOL. I’ve covered most of the legendary deities individually. All have strong fictional personalities. Together they might start a war the likes of which ISIS could not imagine.

      Like

  3. Ha, thank you for the great interview! I learned a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. BunKaryudo says:

    That was quite a scoop you lined up for your blog. I’ve never managed to get anybody famous on mine. Incidentally, I’m no longer a child, but I’d still be perfectly happy to eat a chocolate bunny, no matter how messy it was.

    Liked by 1 person

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