As you may know, the Beatitudes were eight blessings given at the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount, according to Christian beliefs. These were beautiful and inspirational blessings, intended to overcome prejudices of the time. However, we can think of other blessings that are representative of today’s needs.

One of the groups that is most stigmatized these days is southern mobile
home dwellers, sometimes called “trailer trash.” Since there were no mobile homes in the olden days, no specific mention was made of this sub-culture. However, we feel that they are greatly in need of being blessed – so we added a few blessings of our own, just to be sure that all possibilities are covered:

• Blessed are the trailer trash, for they shall have double wide estates in heaven.

• Blessed are those who have “house trailers,” “mobile homes,” or “manufactured housing,” for they are essentially the same thing.

• Blessed are those in rural and remote areas, for mobile homes provide better housing than otherwise available.

• Blessed are those with bad credit, for they can get a personal property loan.

• Blessed are those with double wide units, for they pay twice the price of a single wide unit.

• Blessed are the poor, for they often pay the highest loan interest rates.

• Blessed are the clean of heart, for 80% own their own mobile homes instead of renting.

• Blessed are those with low monthly payments, for they often have to pay extra to rent a home site.

• Blessed are those who live in single-wide units, for they can go to the bathroom and meet themselves coming back.

• Blessed are they who live in the Southeast, for 15% of all homes are manufactured housing there.

• Blessed are they who sit down too hard on the couch, for they may cause the house to tilt.

• Blessed are they who cannot move their possessions without moving their
  entire house.

• Blessed are those who must sell at a loss, because mobile homes are not really mobile.

• Blessed are they who hunger and thirst, for there is no pizza delivery in the trailer park.

• Blessed are “modular” homeowners, for they are trailer trash without wheels.

• Blessed are they who don’t pay real estate taxes, for they pay personal property tax instead.

• Blessed are they who have no back doors, for they have more space for bumper stickers.

• Blessed are they who are trailer trash, for they shall be called the children of HUD.

• Blessed are they whose homes depreciate in value, for they will build no equity.

• Blessed are those who have chassis and wheels, for they shall continue to be called trailer trash.

• Blessed are those who suffer persecution – for manufactured homes are NOT going away.

©2004

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Blessed are those who write humor about something that isn’t funny, for they found out a lot of things they didn’t know about mobile home.