The Complaint Department is Open


Everyone seems to have something to complain about.  They don’t like politics or politicians and think we would all be better off without having to hear so much about them, or from them.  They don’t like Hillary they don’t like Trump or they want to complain about Obama.

They don’t like the latest movies, which are not fit to watch, and they don’t like what’s on TV.  And what’s the deal with satellite TV and cable being so expensive anyhow?

They don’t like movie stars, rock stars, or celebrities in general, and they don’t like hearing about their lives: who is in rehab this week, who is sleeping with whom, or who got arrested — as if it mattered or anyone cared about their worthless existence.

They don’t like old people who do nothing but complain about their aches and pains and operations. They don’t like young kids, and the way they dress with their pants down to their knees and their tattoos and piercings.

They don’t like traffic, there is way too much of it, and they don’t like the high price of gasoline. They don’t like SUV gas hogs and they don’t like crowded small cars.  They don’t like depending on foreign oil and they don’t like anything spoiling the environment.

They don’t like the weather. It’s either too dry, or it rains too much. There is always a hurricane, a blizzard, a flood or an earthquake somewhere to complain about.  They definitely don’t like the weather.

They don’t like football, or baseball, and they don’t like the Olympics. They don’t like wasting time watching people play games. Professional athletes are paid too much, and they don’t like anyone who thinks otherwise.

They don’t like being overweight, but they don’t like dieting. They don’t like smokers.  They don’t like health nuts who talk about nothing but physical fitness, as if it is some kind of national obsession.

They don’t like workaholics who do nothing but work and don’t have a life. They don’t like those lazy butts who won’t get a job, wouldn’t keep it if they had one, and are just looking for a handout.

They don’t like the slowdown in the economy, and they don’t like the high interest on everything but savings. They don’t like paying taxes — sales tax, property tax, and income tax — which are always way too much.

They don’t like traveling; it’s too expensive and there’s no place worth going. But they don’t like doing nothing either.

They don’t like the food in restaurants. You can’t get a decent meal for a reasonable price. They don’t like to cook, so eating at home is out of the question, especially with the price of groceries these days.

They don’t like shopping.  You can’t find a place to park without having to walk a mile and when you finally get inside the store you can’t find anything worth spending your money on anyhow except stuff that is overpriced.

They don’t like summer as it is too hot and the air conditioning is too cold.  They don’t like winter as it is too cold and the weather is bad.  They don’t like spring as the grass has to be mowed.  Fall is depressing because winter is coming and there is all that pollen in the air.

They don’t like smart alecks, and they don’t like stupid people.  They don’t like people that are different and not exactly like them. They could go on all day about that one, but they don’t like people who talk too much and are too opinionated.

Now, my ears are burning from all these complainers, and I don’t like complaining about complainers. On the other hand, if there were no complainers I wouldn’t have anything to complain about. So, the complaint department is open. Go ahead and complain.

©2008 Sheila Moss

About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
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4 Responses to The Complaint Department is Open

  1. Sheila Moss says:

    Morris likes fish too. I only like it breaded and fried. Other than that, I like canned tuna or salmon once in a while. Broiled or baked fish, not so much. Sushi? Never…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hira says:

    They don’t like fish or the smell of it and it is my favorite food in the whole wide world 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lois says:

    What can I add to that? I have sat with people that have said the exact same thing as your column, and I wondered what if anything makes them happy. But without a complaint compartment being open what would we all do? We would all be complaining that the complaint department is closed.
    Thanks Sheila for putting it all down in writing!

    Liked by 1 person

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