Big Hair

big hair
Beautiful Curls by Martin de Witt (CC BY 2.0) 8/16/11
I don’t have BAD hair days– I have BIG hair days!
My hair is so BIG that it gets tangled with my eyelashes.
My hair is so BIG that I had to buy a car with a sunroof.
My hair is so BIG that it stays up all night while I’m sleeping.
My hair is so BIG that I need a wide-angle lens for my photos.
My hair is so BIG that I need a time management plan when I comb it.
My hair is so BIG that Country Music stars are jealous.
My hair is so BIG that my friends think I’m both of the Judd sisters.
My hair is so BIG that I have to sit on the back row in the movies.
My hair is so BIG that my cat hisses at it.
My hair is so BIG that I had to open a charge account to buy shampoo.
My hair is so BIG that I brush it with a fuzz buster.
My hair is so BIG that I blow-dry it with the ceiling fan.
My hair is so BIG that I skateboard without needing a helmet.
My hair is so BIG that my beautician took out disaster insurance.
My hair is so BIG that a windstorm can turn it inside out.
My hair is so BIG that I need KY jelly to wear a hat.
My hair is so BIG that my wallet-sized pictures are 8×10.
My hair is so BIG that it has more body than Dolly Parton.
My hair is so BIG that it doesn’t wave, it surfs!

My hair is so BIG that I have to bully it instead of teasing it!

Copyright 2000 Sheila Moss
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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites. SUBSCRIBE to my weekly columns hot off the keyboard and not available on my blog: humorcolumnist-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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5 Responses to Big Hair

  1. sniderjerry says:

    I tried to put some moose on my hair but I couldn’t get my hat on over the antlers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. energywriter says:

    Funny! I used to have big hair. Now that I’m older it’s not quite as thick and bushy as it used to be. sd

    Like

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