We are inviting you here today for our “Open House and Home Tour” of this prime piece of real estate. It is an excellent buy, and we would like to get a little life back into this house and get the market moving.

First of all, we will view the foyer. Don’t worry about the splattered wallpaper — that can always be changed. Notice the lovely carpeting. The former owners favored a red color. We are not sure why. You will find elegant blood-red carpets throughout the house.

Entering the main living area, you will notice the beautiful oil paintings hanging on the wall. We don’t know who the people in the paintings are. Probably they are all dead anyhow, so don’t worry about it.

There is a slight draft in here that makes it a bit chilly at this time of the year, but think how pleasant it will be during the hot summer months. It’s probably just a back draft from the fireplace, don’t you think?

You will notice that the mirrors in the house create an illusion of shadows moving about the rooms. Remember that it is only a reflection and nothing at all that we need to be concerned about.

The previous owner left the beautiful grand piano that you see by the bay windows. This piano can practically play itself. In fact, some people believe they have heard it doing so, but it must have been their imagination as the music always stops whenever someone comes to investigate.

The beautiful grandfather clock is not running, and you will need to have it repaired; however, it is a priceless antique and is included with the home. You may notice that all of the clocks in the house have stopped at midnight. Probably they just need to be wound and reset.

From the dining room there is a beautiful view of the garden. You will love the beautiful lilies and the view of the bottomless lake. We also have wildlife. There are many caves in this area, and you may enjoy seeing the bats flying out of them at dusk.

The kitchen has been totally remodeled and has all the latest conveniences. The former owner collected kitchen knives and you can see that much of the fabulous collection remains. The pantry has meat hooks that will work well for hanging pots and pans. Notice the interesting antique marble floor with names and dates carved on some of the tiles.

Up the staircase we will find the bedrooms. Don’t mind if there are few cobwebs hanging here and there. The place hasn’t been cleaned in a while. It doesn’t get many visitors. Apparently someone is looking after it, though, as there are faint footprints in the dust.

This back bedroom belonged to the owner’s daughter, who unfortunately passed away in a tragic accident when she fell down the stairs. The stairs to the basement are very dark and steep so we never take our clients down there unless they are deadly serious about making this house their permanent residence.

And that concludes our tour of this home. The owner is very anxious to sell and will consider any reasonable offer. You are welcome to hang around as long as you want. Our real estate company will not be responsible for accidents — especially after dark.

Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss

NOTE: Yes, yes, this is my Halloween offering. Hope you are in the spirit for it.