Turkeys Unite!


Turkeys unite! It’s time to panic! They are killing us by the millions. We must run while there is still time! Look around you – do you see any turkeys that you knew a year ago?

They are breeding us to increase the size of our plump white breasts and meaty legs. Did you think that your fine physique was merely a gift of nature? Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Millions will die.

Run! Escape while there is still time! We can no longer fly like our wild forefathers could; therefore we must run, no matter how hard it seems. Three hundred million of us will be consumed in a year. We can stop this slaughter of the innocent if we act now.

They have taken away our hormone and steroid injections to keep us weak. They are artificially inseminating our females because we have grown too fat and tired to do the job ourselves. Our hens are being turned into egg machines. When they lay 88 eggs and are totally exhausted, they are sent to market.

Do you think you are free just because you are allowed to run loose in a poultry barn? Are you happy merely because you are not kept in a cage? Wake up, turkeys! They want you to be happy – happy and fat!

Don’t touch that corn and soy meal! They are not being kind to you. They are fattening you up for the kill. You have been bred selectively to have white feathers so your skin will not have spots. Forty-five million of us will end up on the dining room table. Our hens are even more likely to be sent to the ovens than male turkeys.

Does that mean male turkeys are safe? Hardly. Tom turkeys will end up as processed lunchmeat, turkey ham, turkey burgers, or even as pet food. You will be consumed not only during holidays, but all year long. They like you because your meat is low fat and mild tasting. Don’t you deserve better than this?

So, you think you can flee to another place, another country where Thanksgiving is not celebrated? Wrong! Other countries eat our kind too. Israel consumes more turkey than the United States. France and England also have a hunger for fowl. Actually, no place in the world is completely safe.

We must flee! It is time for panic! We must act while there is time. Escape any way you can. They will not expect you to be hostile. Use the element of surprise. Remember that you have beaks and claws, even if they have been trimmed. Do not be fooled and think that you are safe because you have food, fresh water, and a roof over your head.

Turkeys are true American birds. In the tradition of America, show them how we can fight against injustice. We must let them know that turkeys have rights. We must become activists in our own defense. Feathers may fly, but we cannot be deterred until justice is served (instead of us). We must flock together for the sake of our unborn poults in the incubator.

No bird is safe, especially at this time of the year. Rally together now. Let ‘em eat cranberries. Let ‘em eat sweet potatoes. Let ‘em eat anything but us!

This year let the turkeys have something to be thankful for.

Copyright 2002 Sheila Moss

About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
This entry was posted in Creatures, Food, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Turkeys Unite!

  1. energywriter says:

    You said it. Keep those turkeys safe.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sniderjerry says:

    I’m a vegan, your turkey is safe. Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Time for revolution. To arms ! To arms ! Or is that wings ?

    Liked by 1 person

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