iPhone is Not for Dummies


“Open it.” He said, handing me a small box.

It isn’t my birthday and it is too early for Christmas. The box had an apple with a bite out of it on front. Even I knew what that logo meant. And when I opened it, there it was — a shiny new black iPhone.

I’ve never really been a gadget person. Some people have to have the newest and latest electronic item as soon as it is released. When the iPhone first came out, we had to go to the Apple store and stand in line with the other early innovaters so Honey could get one on the first day.

But here it was, the future staring me right in the face — ready or not.

The guy at the phone store had transferred my phone directory already and had it ready to go. Go where, I wasn’t quite sure. I figured turning it on was a good place to start. I pushed the only button and the phone came to life. “Slide to start,” it said on the phone, so I did and up popped a screen like a mini computer.

“Where’s the owner’s manual?” I asked.

“That little 10 page pamphlet?” How hard can it be if it takes only 10 tiny pages to explain? They seemed to assume you were somewhat technically savvy. Like most computer manuals, it didn’t make much sense. I decided to try and figure it out myself and things went better.

I found a tiny keyboard where I could type text messages or email. But the keys were so tiny and my fingers so large. I could not get it to type the right letters. After typing the letter before, the letter after, and the letter above, I finally figured out that if I lined a key up with my hangnail, it would type the right letter. This is going to be some slow going, I thought.

I found out the browser is called Safari, not Internet Explorer. You can tell I’m not an Apple person. Anyhow, I was able to check my email with the help of my hangnail and the backspace.

I really didn’t see the point when I had a computer at home with a screen big enough to see. I supposed I would learn to love it. Everyone else seems to. And Honey was so pleased with himself for thinking of it that I couldn’t disappoint him by being too dumb to use it.

I eventually figured out how to make a call with it. Sometimes I hit the wrong name in the directory, and had to explain I was breaking in a new phone.

I finally figured out how to make the tiny web pages large enough to read, though it really seemed like more trouble than it was worth unless you are really desperate to read a web page. Actually, I learned this from the TV commercial which showed how to pull it in two different directions to enlarge.

“Can I borrow your iPhone?” asked my grandson when he found out I had one.

“What for?” I asked.

“My friend and I want to make a video.” he said.

I knew it had a camera, but this thing makes videos? I finally figured out that feature. At least I am as smart as a fifth grader.

And now, 10 years after the fact and many iPhones later, I’m as addicted to an iPhone as everyone else and can’t imagine life without one.

Copyright 2010 Sheila Moss

About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
This entry was posted in Humor, Technology and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to iPhone is Not for Dummies

  1. Pingback: iPhone is Not for Dummies — Humor Columnist Blog – telechoice

  2. shelton12345 says:

    Good for you.

    You are learning how to use your IPhone!

    If you want a big keyboard you may want a iPad to help with your typing


    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sharon Dillon says:

    Good for you.
    I’m not quite as good as you. I found that using a stylus helps me send messages. My thumbs are too big. Let’s face it — I’m too clumsy. Today my computer guru had to take email off my phone. I had been hacked. She said my daughter can reinstall it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lois says:

    I have to use a special stylus with a rubber tip to work my phone. My fingers do not register otherwise. Are my hands too dry, or are they dead? If they do register a letter, it is the wrong one. The joys of i-phones.

    Liked by 1 person

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