The Mystery Pill

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“Is this yours,” asked Honey, dropping a white caplet in my hand. I looked at it and wasn’t sure. “It was on the bathroom floor,” he said. It didn’t look like one of my usual meds. It could be a pill left over from a long ago illness, like a forgotten cat toy lost under the sofa and found months later.

As soon as most of us get a certain age, we have a few pills that we have to take on a regular basis. Did I say a few? I keep mine in a pill dispenser with days of the week marked on the top so I don’t forget what I’ve taken and what I’ve not.

Otherwise, I have to open each bottle and by the time I do that, it is time to take my evening pills. The trouble with putting them all together in an easy-to-use dispenser is that not all of them are taken the same way or at the same time.

I have a tiny white pill that has to be taken 20 minutes before eating food. Someone told me, “Put it on the nightstand and as soon as your feet hit the floor, take it.” I tried it. Still drowzy, I dropped the bottle and pills went everywhere. The cat had a lot of fun that day. But those pills are much smaller than the mystery pill.

My stash of pills is for various ailments I have had at one time or another. My important pills are taken in the morning. That way if I forget, I have another opportunity in the evening to say, “Oh, my, gosh, I forgot to take my medicine.”

The pretty pink pill is my allergy pill. I don’t think it does a darn bit of good as I’m just as allergic to pollen and dust as I ever was. It isn’t even worthy of FDA regulation anymore. They made it over-the-counter a few years ago. But if I needed it when it was prescription, I must need it now. The mystery pill couldn’t possibly be an allergy pill.

The tiny caplet is a hormone pill. I don’t know why I’m still taking hormones. I’m still just as darn old as I would be without hormones. The doctor says, “It’s the lowest dosage they make.” I don’t need it enough to take a normal dose, but I’m afraid to stop or my skin might dry up and turn into crepe paper overnight. It is different from the pill Honey found.

That big green one is my pill for depression. Who wouldn’t be depressed taking so many pills? Every once in a while I decide I’m not depressed enough to need a pill and quit taking it. “You should not go on and off depressants when you feel like it,” said the doctor. “It is best to keep taking it as it will keep you from getting depressed.” It must be working as I’m not depressed. It is green, so no chance the white pill is for depression.

Then there is the yellow and white capsule for arthritis. It has to be taken after food. If I forget it, my body reminds me, so it is one I’m really sure I need. Again, a yellow and white capsule is not a white pill.

Some of my pills are relegated to an evening dose. These are the multi-vitamin, vitamin D, and calcium — more over-the-counter stuff — not taken because I’m sick but because they keep me healthy. If that is true, I shouldn’t need all those other pills, should I?

So, I have no earthly idea what the big white caplet is. Wouldn’t it be helpful if they put the name of the pill on it instead of a number? I suppose I could swallow and find out — but I think I will just throw it away.

Copyright 2014 Sheila Moss

About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
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1 Response to The Mystery Pill

  1. Probably a good idea.

    Liked by 1 person

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