The Crud-That-Has-No-Name

What is this stuff going around that is making people so sick? Whatever it is, it is very contagious. First my son was coughing, and then my honey started. I knew it was only a matter of time. I tried uselessly to avoid all the rest of the family who were barking like dogs.

My first symptom was the headache. I rationalized it away as a migraine and popped one of my migraine pills. Then it was sinus congestion. Probably my allergies, I reasoned, and took a decongestant. But what’s the point? No amount of hand washing, Lysol spray, social distancing and denial could prevent it. My throat began to burn and my lungs ached. I had it, whatever it is.

Soon I too was coughing my lungs out just like the rest of them.

I’ve already had Covid, but maybe I have it again. It sure felt the same. But my test was negative. I’ve had the Covid vaccine and boosters, five shots to be exact. I also had a seasonal flu shot. But viruses mutate and what works for one virus may not work for another. Whatever this no-name disease is, it is spreading like wildfire.

It seems that when you think you have Covid for sure, you have the flu. And when you think you have the flu, you have some other virus, and when you think it is a virus, it is a cold, and when you think it is a cold, it is the crud-that-has-no-name. If it had a name, would it be easier to treat?

Cough, cough, COUGH! Not a polite little cough that you can cover with a tissue, but gut-wrenching, flame-throwing, agonizing coughs from the pits of hell. The kind of coughing that makes your tonsils vibrate, fluid run from your nose and tears flow from your eyes. I should have gone to the doctor when it first started, but now I might as well ride it out. Nothing helps. Sudafed and cough drops do about as much good as anything.

I haven’t slept in two nights. Did you know you cannot both cough and sleep at the same time? Drink plenty of liquid, they say. So I did. I take mini-naps, wake up coughing and go to the bathroom. And in the unlikely event that I do fall asleep, I can count on honey to have a coughing spasm and wake me up anyhow.

Speaking of coughing spasms, at some point during the night I must have sucked sinus drainage down my throat which clogged my airway, and I narrowly escaped suffocation with a coughing fit worthy of the mucus Olympics. After that, I was afraid to go back to sleep, so I decided to get up and hoped my head would be less stuffy when I was setting up.

There is not much on TV after 3 A.M. except infomercials and crime shows, so I watched a couple people get murdered. By then I was so desensitized to death that I didn’t much care whether I lived or not.

Today I have accomplished nothing – nada – zero. I have no appetite, not even for the proverbial chicken soup. I forced myself to consume some spicy Mexican food as I figured the heat might help open my head. My nose was a waterfall after that. I dread the thought of another night. I suppose I will get over this granddaddy of all crud-that-has-no-name sooner or later.

I hope you were wearing a mask while you read this and stayed six feet away from your computer. Please wash your hands for 20 seconds if you touched your keyboard. As for me, I’m going to blow my nose and go to bed before I collapse.

Copyright 2023 Sheila Moss

About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
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2 Responses to The Crud-That-Has-No-Name

  1. Been there. Get well soon.


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