It was 3:00 in the morning when strange sounds woke me up. It sounded as if something was scratching the bottom of my bed. “That dumb dog is under the bed,” I thought. “Get! Get out of here,” I mumbled.
The noises stopped momentarily, then continued. Now it was louder and sounded as if something was chewing wood. I felt something like a lump in the mattress that moved from one part of the bed to another.
“That dog is under the bed and stuck!” I realized I was going to have to get up. How is a person supposed to get any sleep around here? I was trying to figure out how to get him out when I had a horrible thought. Maybe I need to be sure it is the dog. I tiptoed out and checked his bed. There he was sound asleep.
“Wait! If the dog is asleep, then what is under my bed?” A poltergeist? A wild animal of some sort? But how could a squirrel get inside? A ghost, a rat, a mouse? My mind went wild. Remember it is 3:00 in the morning and I am half asleep.
“I’m not sleeping in a room that is haunted,” I thought. So, I went into another bedroom and crawled into the bed where I could sleep in peace.
The next day I told Honey “There is something under my bed, a critter, I think.” Now that I was awake and thinking more clearly, I realized it must be a mouse. I have had mice before, but in the garage, not the bedroom. Why the bedroom instead of the kitchen?
I had my son pull out everything under the bed: two games, and a folded card table, nothing that would interest a varmint. “Mom, there is nothing else under here but dust.” “Are you sure you didn’t imagine it?”
“No, I didn’t imagine it!” It must be afraid to go in there. “How do you get rid of a mouse?”
“Set a mouse trap is the only way I know,” offered my son.
I looked it up online. Use essential oils or cat urine. (Mice don’t like peppermint. I don’t like cat urine.) Use traps. (Mice are sneaky and avoid traps.), Block their entrance with steel wool. (I don’t know how they got in.) Remove the food source. (It is eating my bed.) Mice don’t like light.
So, my son set a mousetrap and I put a light under the bed. I wanted the men to take the mattress off the bed, but they declined. Honey’s hand hurts and my son has a bad shoulder. I think they were afraid of the mouse too.
We never had this problem when we had cats. “Do you know where we can get a cat?” asked Honey.
“Are you kidding me? The shelters are full of cats. Everyone is on social media wanting to rehome a cat.”
There was a reason I didn’t get another cat when mine passed away. Cats are trouble: food to buy, litter boxes to clean, scratched up furniture, cat hair everywhere, vet bills and then they die and break your heart.
“I think it might be easier to have a mouse than a cat.”
All I can think of now is buying a new mattress. They will deliver it and take away the old one.
“Here’s someone on social media giving away a California King mattress,” said Honey.
“No thanks!” I have one to give away myself… no extra charge for the mouse.
Copyright 2025 Sheila Moss
Humor Columnist Blog 
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Years ago, I lived in a house next to a pasture. There were mice in the attic and I could hear them chewing the walls. My cat that would sit and look at the ceiling in frustration. They never bothered to enter the living quarters.
Your story made my laugh, and think about the Big Bang Theory show, when they brought home sofa they found at the curb for trash pick-up. They wondered why someone would throw out a perfectly good sofa. After they went to bed you could see something moving under the cushions.
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Ha, that is sort of my situation. My biggest worry, besides the mouse itself, is that it will have babies. I’ve not seen the silly thing, but hear it. Traps have not worked so the mattress has to go.
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We get mice too but our cats usually take care of it although there is a lot of commotion. Last time they knocked over a tall corner rack with plants because the mouse went underneath. What a mess to clean up and no, they didn’t get the mouse. My husband scooped it up and escorted it outside advising it that there are 3 cats in this house and it wasn’t a good idea to come here.
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My cats were pretty worthless as far as mouse catching. Some cats don’t like to hunt I’ve heard. Mostly they were a deterent. I read that if you put something with cat urine out, the mice will not come around. I considered it, but figured people would think I was nuts if I asked for some of their cat’s urine. Besides, not having to smell cat pee is one of the reasons not to have a cat.
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