Goodbye 4th of July

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“More dogs run away on the Fourth of July than any other day!”

Dear Humans,

I want to let you know that I am very upset with you. I do not think it is nice to laugh when I am afraid of the fireworks on the 4th of July. After all, it is an extremely loud noise and I’m not used to having a war going on in the front yard. For all I know, it could be terrorists trying to blow up my doghouse.

I suppose you think I should bark instead of being afraid? Frankly, I think you are expecting too much from a little dog like me. I am a Shih Tzu, not a Pit Bull. I’m a pet, not a freedom fighter.

It has been a really rough week. People started with the firecrackers a week ahead of time, as soon as fireworks were on sale. They could not seem to wait for the official holiday to start petrifying all the animals in the neighborhood. And it won’t stop after the 4th until they use up their entire arsenal.

I do appreciate it when my human holds me on his lap to calm my nerves. I am always shaking so hard my teeth are rattling. This holiday stuff is dreadful, and I don’t know why people think it is entertaining. Sometimes I don’t understand humans at all.

Even the evil cats are afraid. You probably won’t notice, but they hide under the bed until it is over. Of course, I wish they would run away and never come back. Just my luck, they merely retreate and leave me to face the terror campaign alone. Then after things calm down, they groom themselves and catnap as if nothing happened. Stupid cats!

I sure hope there are no other holidays that have fireworks. Those rockets sound like thunder to me. I thought thunderstorms were bad, but at least they are few and far between. Ever since I was a little pup, the lightning has been trying to strike me. Remember that time I walked to the window to look at the rain and a flash of lightning cracked right in front of me? That is why I am so afraid.

I remember one night when it was thundering, you humans were asleep and would not wake up. I wanted to get in your bed so badly that I jumped about four feet straight up and landed on the mattress. I don’t know how I did it, but somehow fear gave me super jumping skills. I’ve never been afraid enough to jump that high before or since, and I hope I never am.

As long as I sleep in the bed with my humans, the lightning can’t strike me. Of course, I have to bark and run the wicked cats away. They attract electricity, you know. I am certain that if I can keep them out of the bed the lightning will wallop them one of these days and I will be rid of them.

I hope you get the point. I am tired of trembling and shaking every time I hear a loud noise. I will be glad when winter gets here and I don’t have to worry about thunder, fireworks, or fanatics. The devil cats are about all I can deal with.

So let this be a warning, if you make me afraid again, I am going run away from home to some place that doesn’t have storms and firecrackers. More dogs run away on the 4th of July than any other day, you know.

Do you mind if I wait until that dark thundercloud blows over, though?

Yours truly,
Dixie The Dog

©1999 Sheila Moss
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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites. SUBSCRIBE to my weekly columns hot off the keyboard and not available on my blog: humorcolumnist-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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9 Responses to Goodbye 4th of July

  1. LOL. I never considered that anyone could not enjoy the 4th of July but I don’t have pets. Hmm. Very interesting perspective and a cool story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lois says:

    My Dad had a German Shepard who was afraid of fireworks and would try and crawl under the end tables to hide. He tried to train her to retrieve rabbits he hunted with his gun, but when she smelled the blood she thought that she was next. After that she was terrified of loud noises, especially fireworks. My daughter’s dog has to be locked in a windowless room and hugged until things calm down. It is very difficult for animals to understand. Poor Dixie.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My cats have already staked out their spot under the beds. They are demanding an early supper so they can be prepared with their catnip mousies. I don’t think people really understand how disturbing fireworks are to animals. It’s not natural. It’s very loud and sparkly. Looks a lot like the end of the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Be safe and have a happy Fourth of July, Sheila. :O)

    Liked by 1 person

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