No Parking

parking lot

Why is it that whenever I go to a discount mart or a shopping mall, I can never find a decent parking place?  What time of the day do all of those people get there that have the great spots right up next to door?  They must get up at 5:00 in the morning, arrive at 7:00 and wait for the doors to open.  How else could they get those places?  And they stay all day, never leaving.  The spots are still all full at 10:00 p.m., an hour after the mall is closed.  Maybe they live there, stay all night and never leave.

I use to have it figured out at the discount store where I shop.  I would park down at the end instead of out front.  For some reason people tend to avoid those end slots.  Actually, they were not that far from the door.  They looked further, but compared to those way back at the back where I usually end up, they were a mere hop, skip and jump.  But, alas, the store apparently decided the employees were taking spaces away from customers and ordered them to park on the side.  My glorious days of finding a spot at the side of the store suddenly ended, and again I had to fend for myself among the others out front.

Those lovely handicap spots are so tempting, so empty.  No one ever parks there.  Some people yield to temptation and pull in.  I just can’t do it.  I always think, “what if…?”  What if a handicapped person actually came along and needed that place?  What if a policeman came along and saw that I did not?  What if I was handicapped and someone who didn’t need it took my parking place?

Then there are those who circle the parking lot like vultures, waiting for someone else to back out so they can zip in.  Once in a blue moon I might be lucky enough to get a spot that someone else is vacating, but not often.  If I see them leaving and decide to wait, they seem to take an hour to unload their packages, get in the car, adjust the mirror, find a good station on the radio, adjust the seat, fasten the seat belt.  I think they are just claiming squatter’s rights and are reluctant to leave with me waiting there impatiently to pull in.

And there are those drivers who will zip up from the other direction and whip into a spot that you have been waiting on for an eternity.  Fools!  I would never be brave enough to leave my car and go shopping after provoking someone that much.  I have had words with people over such behavior – not very nice words either.

Back at my local discount mart, I again found some spots on the side.  I can go in through the garden center door instead of the front door.  A shortcut through the flowers and I am inside.  Then, as luck would have it, they expanded the garden center out to the parking lot.  My favorite parking places are now under 5000 bags of fertilizer and mulch.  How can they do this to me?  I’m telling you, there oughta be a law against garden supplies on the parking lot.

Along the curb by the front door, a few souls disregard the rights of others, pull over in the “no parking” area and run in to grab a quick item.  Some leave a spouse in the car.  Why is it that leaving a spouse in the car gives you the right to park illegally?  Or is the idea that the person can move the car if the cops happen to show up – not that they ever do.  As much money as I spend there, they should really give me a designated parking place.  Valet parking wouldn’t be bad either.  Now that’s an idea I really like.

I guess I might as well park at the back of the lot and forget it.  It isn’t worth the gas and time to drive around and look.  I can always wear my gym shoes.  Besides, there’s hope.  That pile of fertilizer can’t last forever, and I still remember that shortcut through the garden center and in by the back door.

Now if I can only find a back door at the mall.

©1999 Sheila Moss
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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites. SUBSCRIBE to my weekly columns hot off the keyboard and not available on my blog: humorcolumnist-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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3 Responses to No Parking

  1. Our mall has a back entrance that no one uses except security and a few trusted friends that I told. I immediately regretted telling them because now there are 10 of us that park there. I don’t have that many friends.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lois says:

    Oh that is so true. I get to use the handicap parking, but most of the time when I go somewhere they are all full no matter what time of the day. Of course the stores where I have no interest in shopping at have all kinds of empty handicap spaces. It must be one of Murphy’s Laws when it comes to finding a good parking spot, no matter who you are.

    Liked by 1 person

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