Everybody could use less stress, so I’ve formulated a plan. Yes, I’m gonna get the stress outta my life. I’m gonna be a brand new woman in 12 easy steps:
Before I can take care of anyone else, I have to be okay myself. It is easy to be caught up in doing for others and forget about myself. So, I’m gonna buy myself a new dress. I’m gonna go the doctor for a checkup, and then I’m gonna have my hair done.
I’m gonna wash my hands of other people and quit trying to fix them. I’m going to quit dropping hints and making helpful suggestions. I’m gonna let my family deal with their own problems, and my life is going to get a whole lot simpler.
Why do we get away from doing things that give us pleasure in life? I quit doing art a long time ago. I don’t know why – it seemed like there wasn’t enough time. But it gave me pleasure to create. I’m going to take a giant step BACKWARDS and see how it feels.
Alcohol might make problems seem better for a while. However, it does nothing to get rid of whatever is causing stress. I’m going to avoid “self-medication.” I know drugs make problems worse, not better.
I’m gonna cut myself some slack. Does anybody care if the closets are cleaned except me? I’m going to be more flexible. I’m going to take time to enjoy a sunset, play with my pet, or call a friend. I’m gonna quit demanding more from myself that I would from others.
I’m going to accept that I can’t always be in control. Some things are like the weather; we just have to live with them. It doesn’t really matter whether I always have things MY way. Let someone else have his or her way. What does it matter? In fact, let it be nobody’s way – but just the way it is.
I’m gonna plan ahead for events I know will be stressful. I’m going to allow some time to unwind after it is all over. I’m gonna do like the income tax accountants who give themselves a mini vacation for making it through April 15th.
I’m going to set small goals, something I can manage with driving myself nuts. I’m leaving a few things till tomorrow. Instead of trying to spring clean the whole house, I’m gonna clean out one drawer per day. I feel relieved already.
I’m going to take more breaks. When I achieve something, I’m gonna reward myself. When I went to college, I studied for a test and after a certain amount was studied, I stopped and ate a fudgesicle. Life needs more of these fudgesicle breaks.
I’m not going to feel sorry for myself. If nobody gives me a compliment, I’m going to praise others and compliment their achievements. I’m gonna get a big glass bottle and a bag of marbles. Every time I accomplish something, I’m gonna put a marble in the bottle. When I feel unappreciated, I’m gonna look at the bottle and see my accomplishments.
I’m gonna do the best I can and not try to be a superwoman. I’m going to quit worrying about what I “should” do. I’ve spent most of my life doing what I “should” do. Now it’s time to do what I “want” to do. Even superheroes have their critics.
I’m going to keep my sense of humor. I’m going to laugh at myself and my own human weaknesses. If I can’t do anything else, I’m going to make a joke about it and go on. I’m making humor a part of myself and my attitude toward life. If I can do this well enough, maybe I won’t even need the other eleven.
Humor Columnist Blog 
Yay Sheila! Good advice to give yourself. I hope you are following it. BTW: the last sentence left me hanging until I scrolled up to the top and read “12 steps.” Perhaps you could say, …the other 11 steps to self-improvement. Just a thought. sd
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Thanks for the suggestion. I wanted to number them, but couldn’t get the list thingy to work right. I’ll check it out.
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