Where Are Things When You Need Them?

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Band-Aids are always the wrong size.  Why do they put so many of those little tiny ones in a box of assorted sizes?  They are not big enough for an average cut on a finger.  But get a scratch on the face and want a little one, and the box has only the large ones left.

Where are things when you need them?

Change – My purse gets full of loose change that somehow gets out of my wallet.  But when I need a quarter for the parking meter, I can never find any change.

Where are things when you need them?

Tools – If I need a regular screwdriver, I have only a Phillips.  And, of course, if it is a Phillips screw I need to tighten, all the screwdrivers in the house are the regular kind.  How do they do this?

Where are things when you need them?

Drinking Glasses – There are so many glasses, jelly jars, and souvenir mugs that the cabinet door won’t close – until I need a glass of water to take a pill.  Then everything is in the dishwasher except a child’s training cup.

Where are things when you need them?

Remote Control  – I never, ever use the one for the DVD player.  It gathers dust on top of the entertainment center – until the electricity goes out and I need it to reprogram it.  Of course, it is missing!

Where are things when you need them?

Keys – I try to have three keys since they are so easy to lose:  One for the key chain, one for the extra set, and one “just in case.”  Then when the day comes that both sets of keys are misplaced, the “just in case” key is nowhere to be found.

Where are things when you need them?

Shoes are left everywhere: by the bed, in the bathroom, by the door.  But when I need that one certain pair of shoes, somehow they ended up in the closet where I will never think to look for them in a million years.

Where are things when you need them?

I.D. is always in my wallet until one day I need to cash a check.  I look through everything: credit cards, insurance cards, membership cards, registration cards, doctor and dental appointment cards.  Everything is there but my driver’s license – until I get back to the car where it magically re-appears in my wallet.

Where are things when you need them?

Light Bulbs – I always have an extra package… somewhere.  I know that sooner or later a bulb is going to burn out. But until I figure out where “somewhere” is, I will have to steal one from the lamp again.

Where are things when you need them?

Coat Hangers – They hang empty in the closet, dozens of them the fall on the floor of the closet, they hang empty on door knobs.  But when I take clothes from the dryer and need to hang something up, the coat hangers are suddenly all full, not an empty one any place.

Where are things when you need them?

Safety Pins – Everyone has safety pins!  So why is it that when a hem rips or a button pops and I need one fast, there are none anywhere in the house?

Where are things when you need them?

Envelopes – Ever want to mail a letter and not be able to find an envelope?  Frustrating!  Is that why bills come with envelopes enclosed – so there is no excuse?  If so, they should enclose a stamp also.

I can’t figure it out.  Some sort of Murphy’s Law at work, I suppose.  “If it can get lost, it will.”  Everything is there until I really need it.  Am I disorganized and just unable to find stuff, or am I over organized and unable to find things that are not where they are supposed to be?

Maybe I need a big closet labeled “Stuff That Gets Lost”  I could fill it up with Scotch tape, matches, rubber bands, unmatched socks… Oh, forget it!  There is no closet big enough for all that stuff.  And if there was, it would be so full I couldn’t find anything. I’ve never quite been able to figure it out.

Where are things when you need them?

Copyright Sheila Moss 2001

 

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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites. SUBSCRIBE to my weekly columns hot off the keyboard and not available on my blog: humorcolumnist-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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5 Responses to Where Are Things When You Need Them?

  1. Articles like this keep me coming back for more. You hit the nail right on the head.

    Another thing … why is it that the key you need to unlock the door is in the hand that is holding an armload of groceries?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. MrJohnson says:

    The tragedies are the most remembered.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. energywriter says:

    Funny – and so true. My mom used the say, “If you’ve looked all over and can’t find something, look where it belongs. It just might be there.” She was right – most of the time. sd

    Liked by 1 person

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