I Hate Football


Yes, that was me at the Titans’ game last week. So what? That does not mean that I do not hate football. It is just that I had not done much of anything for a long time and I really needed to get out.

We got there early to find parking but still had to walk for miles to get to the stadium. We were looking for a place nearby to eat breakfast but couldn’t find one. I was starving. No wonder I hate football!

Okay, so I ended up eating popcorn for breakfast. So what? You eat corn flakes all the time and think nothing of it, don’t you? Is that much different from popcorn? I’ll admit the diet coke was not my usual choice of a breakfast beverage, but I had to drink something, didn’t I?

It was a hot day. It was a really hot day. Okay, it was sizzling. It definitely was not football weather. When I think of football, I think of shivering and drinking hot coffee to keep warm while my toes freeze off. It was much too hot a day to be playing football. As I sat there sweltering in the sun with perspiration running down my back, I hated football more than ever.

When the game finally started, the Titans didn’t play worth a hoot. They got so far behind by halftime that I figured they didn’t have a chance of winning. After every play, somebody was lying on the field injured, and it was always Tennessee. Titans were dropping like flies.

I was getting sunburned and wanted to leave. Morris, of course, was enjoying the stupid game. He bribed me with one of those $5 cokes to get me to stay and didn’t even care about how much I hate football.

As I looked around the crowd, I noticed that most everyone was wearing Titan colors. As usual, I was out of fashion. It seems the big thing is to wear a jersey with the name of your favorite player on the back. I wonder how much those jerseys cost? I do sort of like them, even though I hate football.

As the game began again, the repugnant college-age commentators sitting behind us got wound up on beer and began spouting their opinions of each play. Why do these obnoxious people always seem to show up at ballgames? And why do they always have to sit behind me?

But the game was staring to pick up now and the Titans were making a comeback. Yes, I was screaming and yelling. I figured I might as well join in and cheer since everyone else was – even though I hate football.

As the excitement level in the stadium grew, the yelling was so loud that my eardrums were vibrating, especially when the other team was trying to make a play. They tell me that fans yell loudly so the opposing team can’t hear the directions for their plays. Seems like cheating to me, but the fans didn’t care. Obviously, they don’t hate football like I do.

By the last of the fourth the enthusiasm was intense. Yes, I was starting to enjoy the game. Hard to believe, I know, but you just had be there to understand. I was almost having fun yelling and screaming for every 10 yards gained and trying hard to hate football.

When the Titans scored that final touchdown the crowd went wild. Fireworks exploded and the stadium pulsated with noise. WE WIN!

The talk in Tennessee is already about the Titans going to the SuperBowl this year.

Hate football? Me? Oh, yes, I almost forgot.

Copyright 2002 Sheila Moss


About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
This entry was posted in Humor, Sports and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to I Hate Football

  1. Sheila Moss says:

    Agree, and the $5 Cokes too. Even movies have people crawling over or walking in front of you constantly. It would be very annoying at an event with high-price tickets. It seems consideration of others has gone out of style and it’s all about “me, me, me.”


  2. Interesting and not-very-uncommon observations! To me the worst aspect is the three-dollars-for-one-peanut prices.

    On a related note, I was at the US Open tennis recently watching some interesting matches but was annoyed beyond belief at the sea of (so-called) spectators constantly going up and down the aisles fetching food, drink and ensuring that no one sitting could see two consecutive shots. My question is – even if you are determined not to watch the game, could you not be kind enough to allow others to watch?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sheila Moss says:

    What I hate is that it is on all weekend, college games one day and pro games another. The entire weekend is shot.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I hate football season. Dad does not hear well or see well and the TV is blasting loud for him. I can’t stand it . Go Miami Dolphins.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Almost Iowa says:

    It’s still nothing more than watching millionaires romp on a rug. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. George says:

    Lol…funny how a few touchdowns can change the mood..:)

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment and make my day.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s