Eat Your Broccoli

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Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

Once when he was on a state visit to Mexico, George W. Bush was taken to visit the ranch of the Mexican President. Seemed only natural to visit a ranch with George W. being from Texas and all. Wouldn’t you just know it? It turned out that the “ranch” was a broccoli farm. The Salinas Valley of Mexico, so to speak, smell of broccoli everywhere.

When his father, George Bush Sr., was President, he was famous for his aversion to broccoli. Astute reporters, wondering if George W. loathed broccoli as much as his dad, just had to ask. Sure enough, he replied with an off the cuff remark about preferring cauliflower. Fortunately, international relations survived the incident and so did George W. as far as I know. Guess he didn’t have to eat any, just look at it – lots of it!

Now, personally, I can take broccoli better than cauliflower. Cauliflower is so bland you can’t even taste it. It doesn’t even have any color to it, all bleached white like that. None of the cabbage family is really terrific tasting, though. Heck, kids have been hiding broccoli in their milk for ages to avoid having to eat it – ever since they found out it was good for them. Maybe that’s why George W. likes cauliflower – it’s easier to hide in his glass of milk.

Brussels sprouts are far worse tasting, of course. We won’t even speak of cabbage unless you are planning to make coleslaw. What is it with this aversion to vegetables? I didn’t really realize it, but I’m not much of a veggie person either, I guess. Greens? Yuk! Cooked leaves! Here in the south they say we’ll eat anything as long as it has enough bacon grease in it. But I wouldn’t touch a pot of turnip greens with a 10-foot pole, much less a turnip. I’m just not THAT hungry.

That goes for a lot of the vegetables that people seem to be fond of. I used to belong to a group that had a social dinner every week. Seems the chef was especially proud of his zucchini squash, or maybe he was just cheap. Every week, a big pan of yellow buttered slimy stuff graced the table. I finally just rebelled and refused to try to eat it. If God want me to LIKE that stuff, he wouldn’t have made me carnivorous. I’m not even gonna mention okra. What a disgusting vegetable! It even sounds nasty, “ok-raw.” So vote me off the island. Who cares?

Starchy vegetables are okay – corn, potatoes, beans. Starch is a carbohydrate. It’s just sugar that’s over the hill. Starchy vegetables are in an entirely different sort of category. They hardly count as vegetables at all in my book, nothing like those super nutritious, vitamin C, and calcium rich, broccoli spears.

Guess winding up on a broccoli farm was sort of a nightmare come true for Bush. Well, I can sympathize to a point. Please don’t send me your eggplant casserole recipe that you can’t-even-taste the eggplant in. If you can’t taste it, then leave it out, for Pete’s sake! I don’t have a glass of milk big enough to hide something like that in.

Thank goodness, I do like broccoli, especially the cheese sauce!

Copyright 2001 – 2015 Sheila Moss
Updated
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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
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4 Responses to Eat Your Broccoli

  1. Ann says:

    I love broccoli and Brussels sprouts. Try cooking them in chicken broth, drain and top with crumbled bacon. Yum.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. energywriter says:

    Funny and relatable. My list of “good” veggies is much shorter than my daughters would like. They keep fussing and I continue being stubborn.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sheila Moss says:

    None of the greens like spinach, collards, turnip greens, etc. are on my list, as well as anything in the cabbage family. Raw spinach in salads and cole slaw are okay. I gag and can’t eat that stuff cooked. I have only recently started eating cooked carrots.

    Like

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