The Season of Giving and Taking

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Here it is, almost Christmas. Probably by now you are overcome with Christmas spirit; feeling generous, decorating your tree, and finishing up some last minute shopping before wrapping your gifts.

We only hope that you have not made a charitable contribution to your local criminal element. Yes, it is Christmas for crooks too, and there is nothing they enjoy more than busy, crowded, holidays when they have so many additional opportunities to practice their trade.

Here are a few tips if you want to help out these ambitious entrepreneurs and assure they have an successful holiday season:

When shopping, park your car in a dark area away from buildings or lights make it more accessible to them. After all, it’s Christmas. Have a heart! There is nothing a thief likes better than a dark area where he won’t be seen or noticed while practicing his craft.

Cell phones, purses, and GPS’s make excellent gifts for thieves and unlike your ungrateful relatives, they won’t even mind that they are pre-used. Criminals will probably suspect that you may be away from the car for while shopping. Making a quick grab when opportunity knocks can absolutely make their day.

Small shopping areas are even better places to give away your valuables than large shopping malls where there may be security guards. Avoid malls and help a dishonest outlaw make a living. You might even leave your door unlocked since you are in such a hurry to shop. Be aware that a thief must do his shopping outside while you are shopping inside.

If you make it home without donating your purchases to a worthwhile culprit, wrap all your gifts and place them under the tree in front of the window where they can be see from outside. While you are out of the house enjoying other holiday activities, industrious burglars can procure the gifts that are already wrapped for giving and thus assure their own family of a happy holiday.

If you prefer donating cash instead of goods, carry large amounts of money and never pay with debit or credit cards. Encourage timid pickpockets by leaving a purse dangling on your shoulder for easy snatching or by putting your wallet in a visible back pocket instead of an inside pocket. Cash cannot be traced or cancelled and pickpockets will greatly appreciate your thoughtfulness.

If a good con artist sees nothing worth taking, perhaps he will come to your door asking for a donation for a needy charity knowing that you will be in an especially generous mood at this time of the year. Don’t embarrass him by asking for identification or refusing to donate except to charities you know and trust. Give generously and help a con guy in need.

Remember, this is the time of year to support the low life of our society. By paying attention to carelessness, you can assure that the scum of the earth will not go without a Merry Christmas.

Please give generously and always remember, you too can be a victim of crime.

Copyright 2003 Sheila Moss
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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Shopping and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Season of Giving and Taking

  1. Saloni says:

    Oh ho ho ha! 😂 love it with all my Xmas spirit!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. energywriter says:

    Great post. Send this list to your local newspaper. Every shopper needs to read it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sheila Moss says:

    Amazing how dumb people can be, isn’t it?

    Like

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