It was more than we could resist. We had just been talking about how long it had been since we had been on a riverboat and how we need to get out and do something. Then an email came offering tickets at half price. Kind of makes you wonder about ESP, doesn’t it?

“It’s Chinese acrobats,” said the voice on the phone when I reserved tickets. “And dinner is Land & Sea.” Yes, I knew that. It was in the email.

The night came and we got dressed and drove over there. They have been doing construction on the road for years it seems. Will, they never get it finished? Between my honey’s aggressive driving and the crooked path between concrete barriers, I felt a bit like I’d been on a roller coaster by the time we arrived.

All we had to do was park and get on the boat. Park? Easier said than done. They just keep building things, shopping centers, theaters, and restaurants, all in a confined space with limited parking. We rode around and around until someone finally backed out and we swooped in and parked.

We stood in line to get aboard getting our picture made whether we wanted a picture or not. Once on the riverboat we thought things would get better. But it was hotter than … well, it was hot. For some odd reason, we were not allowed inside the theater until the boat left the dock and we stood in the sweltering heat, fighting the bees that buzzed around my coke.

At last we got inside out of the heat and our waiter introduced himself. Land & Sea turned out to be strong salmon and a small steak that appeared steamed instead of broiled. But I’m getting ahead of the story. The waiters paraded out with trays held high and began serving. We waited and waited. No food. Other people ate. We sat. Finally, we attracted someone’s attention and a different waitress brought our food. We still don’t know what happened to our waiter. We didn’t see him again until time for the tips.

The show started and the acrobats twirled, tumbled, climbed, contorted, juggled, balanced and all the strange things that acrobats do. Before he did his disappearing act, the waiter had pointed to the sign above the stage and said the entertainers would be that high up. We thought he was exaggerating, but they actually were with a feat involving stacking chairs higher and higher and balancing on top of them. Cheap seats were in the back, but I was glad we were far enough away to avoid acrobats falling in the middle of the table if they toppled over off the stage.

At least we didn’t have to sit with the Mafia this time. The last time we were there, we had some very strange folks at our table. I still think they were gangsters. This time, however, we sat with ordinary locals who were bringing some out of town guests. It’s a touristy sort of place. Come to think of it, the last time we were there we were taking out of town guests.

“How did you like it?” asked my honey afterwards.

“Well, except for the traffic, parking, food, heat, and waiting, it was fine.”

“That’s pretty much all there was to it,” he said.

Now I remember why it had been so long.

Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss