Subject: Urgent Request
Since this month is February, the month of love, and since you are the bearer of love and affection, could I ask you to aim one of your arrows at a certain person I know? Just one shot from your arrow could probably bring him around to a more romantic way of thinking. My guy forgets that February 14th is Valentine’s Day, and usually watches TV until he falls asleep.
After all, you have been patching relationships for ailing couples for an eternity. Romeo and Juliet, Mark Anthony and Cleopatra, Brad and Jennifer. Well, maybe some have turned out a little better than others, but you know what I mean. Since you will be out anyhow, flitting around in your underwear, couldn’t you just aim an arrow or two his way? I know you are not Dr. Phil, but I don’t really have time for a consultation and most likely he is out shopping for a Valentine gift for his beloved anyhow.
With your excellent marksmanship, you could easily nail my guy. If you think it would help, I can turn on the porch light when he gets home so you don’t have to waste a lot of valuable time doing your business. I would hate to have to hold him down, though, as he would certainly figure out what I’m up to then
I don’t want you to shoot him in the heart — just wing him a little. A direct shot to the heart would probably kill an old guy like him. He might become so amorous that I could not control him. I would hate for you to be responsible for any nasty incidents that might occur — or is that just wishful thinking?
Thank you for your kind attention and I will be looking forward to your response.