Two Faces of Christmas

It seems to me there are two kinds of people when it comes to Christmas. Which side of the fence are you on?

CHRISTMAS CONFORMIST:  Keep an alphabetized list and address Christmas cards early so they will be ready before you get busy. They can be mailed on the first of December.

GRANNY GRINCH: I considered sending cards, but forgot to buy them and don’t keep a list anyhow. After a few years of this, I only get cards from the dentist and plumber.

CHRISTMAS CONFORMIST: Buy Christmas wrapping paper after Christmas when it is on sale. Store it in a plastic container so you can find it when you need it. Nothing beats the fun of wrapping gifts in colorful paper and placing a pretty bow on top.

GRANNY GRINCH: Are you kidding? Wrap gifts? Wrapping paper became extinct when gift bags came into my life. Gift bags are the best invention that Santa ever made.  

CHRISTMAS CONFORMIST: Buy Christmas gifts all year long when you find things on sale. Then you can enjoy the excitement of shopping for a few items at the mall without being under pressure.

GRANNY GRINCH:  Getting mauled at the mall in the Christmas crunch is not my idea of fun.  I order online and let Google and Amazon do the walking.

CHRISTMAS CONFORMIST: Get the largest tree you can find and put it up before Thanksgiving. Artificial trees can stay up longer.

GRANNY GRINCH: What I’m waiting for is a pre-lit tree that also has the ornaments pre-attached and opens with a button,  like an umbrella. Until then my tree is getting smaller and smaller every year. By next year it may be gone entirely.  

CHRISTMAS CONFORMIST: Collectable ornaments make the Christmas tree special.  Try adding a few new ones each year. Or make your own and personalize them. Vintage ornaments also bring back special memories from previous holidays.

GRANNY GRINCH: Obviously you don’t have a cat. I spend most of the holiday chasing the cat out of the tree and picking up ornaments that she has pulled off the tree and knocked under the furniture .

CHRISTMAS CONFORMIST: Play Christmas music and bake some cookies. To really enjoy Christmas, you must get into the spirit and right mood.

GRANNY GRINCH: My Christmas spirit has been spirited away, right up the chimney with Santa.  I keep suffering though the hubbub and hullabaloo and manage to keep my sanity, or at least some of it. 

CHRISTMAS CONFORMIST:  Drive around the neighborhood and look at the outside light displays. Be sure to take the kids or grandkids.

GRANNY GRINCH:  The commercialization of Christmas has ruined it. Too many houses decorated with lights and choreographed with music; too many stores playing Christmas carols in October; too many Christmas commercials on television; and too many designer Christmas trees with coordinated ornaments.

CHRISTMAS CONFORMIST:  Give little hints about what you want for Christmas so you will be sure to get what you want.  You can also make a wish list at places like Amazon, or just ask family and friends for gift cards for your favorite restaurant or department store.

GRANNY GRINCH: I don’t want anything. I have everything I need. The best thing about Christmas is the Christmas candy. This year I’m giving myself a really great gift and take off from work.

CHRISTMAS CONFORMIST: Think Norman Rockwell, and Currier and Ives.  Keep your finger crossed and wish for snow. I LOVE Christmas! I only wish that the Christmas season lasted longer.

GRANNY GRINCH: Think Grinch, and Scrooge. Snow would be the last straw. All the planning and anticipation, all the getting ready, buying gifts, all the work, and in a day — it is over!  

Can I take down the tree and let the cat out of the basement now?

Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss

About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Two Faces of Christmas

  1. Seems I’m a mix of both sides😊

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s