The original Murphy’s Law is a rule that says: “If something can go wrong, it will.” There are many variations. Here are a few that especially apply to kids.

• The more you hate spinach, the more likely it is you will have it for dinner.
• If you miss the school bus, it will always be on the day of a field trip or party.
• If you spill your milk, the dumb dog won’t lick it up no matter what you promise.
• If you use the sofa for a trampoline, you will forget about your muddy tennis shoes.
• If you have a helium birthday balloon, it will get caught in the ceiling fan.
• The more you need to go potty, the harder it is to get your pants down.
• If you have an unbreakable toy, it will break it anyway.
• The harder you try to hide something, the more psychic mom becomes.
• If you have two best friends, they will like each other better than they like you.
• If you forget to put something away, it will be the carton of ice cream.
• If your favorite program is on TV, your little sister will be watching a cartoons.
• The more you try to sit still in church, the more your underwear scratches.
• When you have to do you homework before playing outside, you will invariably get stuck on the last problem.
• The harder you try not to eat before dinner, the more likely a friend will share candy.
• The more you try to hurry while getting dressed, the greater the probability that you can’t find socks without holes.
• If you kick anything under the bed, the cat will be sleeping there.
• If you remember to wash your hands before eating, the dog will lick you on the mouth.
• The more relatives your have in the audience at the school play, the greater the chance of forgetting your lines.
• If you remember to turn out the lights in the basement, dad will be downstairs.
• If you try to flush a dead goldfish, the toilet will clog and run over.
• The more parts a game has, the greater the likelihood that it will get spilled.
• If you want junk food, it will always be on the highest kitchen shelf instead of in the bottom cabinet.
• The more you want to go outside and play, the harder it is to clean your room.
• The newer your shoes are, the more rain puddles you will see to tempt you.
• If you wake up with a stomach ache and fever, it will be on Saturday.
• If Murphy was a kid, he would lose his lunch money.

©2002