Murphy’s Laws for Kids

mom

The original Murphy’s Law is a rule that says: “If something can go wrong, it will.” There are many variations. Here are a few that especially apply to kids.

  • The more you hate spinach, the more likely it is you will have it for dinner.
  • If you miss the school bus, it will always be on the day of a field trip or party.
  • If you spill your milk, the dumb dog won’t lick it up no matter what you promise.
  • If you use the sofa for a trampoline, you will forget about your muddy tennis shoes.
  • If you have a helium birthday balloon, it will get caught in the ceiling fan.
  • The more you need to go potty, the harder it is to get your pants down.
  • If you have an unbreakable toy, it will break it anyway.
  • The harder you try to hide something, the more psychic mom becomes.
  • If you have two best friends, they will like each other better than they like you.
  • If you forget to put something away, it will be the carton of ice cream.
  • If your favorite program is on TV, your little sister will be watching a cartoons.
  • The more you try to sit still in church, the more your underwear scratches.
  • When you have to do you homework before playing outside, you will invariably get stuck on the last problem.
  • The harder you try not to eat before dinner, the more likely a friend will share candy.
  • The more you try to hurry while getting dressed, the greater the probability that you can’t find socks without holes.
  • If you kick anything under the bed, the cat will be sleeping there.
  • If you remember to wash your hands before eating, the dog will lick you on the mouth.
  • The more relatives your have in the audience at the school play, the greater the chance of forgetting your lines.
  • If you remember to turn out the lights in the basement, dad will be downstairs.
  • If you try to flush a dead goldfish, the toilet will clog and run over.
  • The more parts a game has, the greater the likelihood that it will get spilled.
  • If you want junk food, it will always be on the highest kitchen shelf instead of in the bottom cabinet.
  • The more you want to go outside and play, the harder it is to clean your room.
  • The newer your shoes are, the more rain puddles you will see to tempt you.
  • If you wake up with a stomach ache and fever, it will be on Saturday.
  • If Murphy was a kid, he would lose his lunch money.

©2002

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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites. SUBSCRIBE to my weekly columns hot off the keyboard and not available on my blog: humorcolumnist-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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3 Responses to Murphy’s Laws for Kids

  1. Now are these from experience or observation?

    Like

  2. energywriter says:

    Great list, Sheila. Some of those apply to adults too. sd

    Like

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