How NOT to make a Succulent Wreath

wreath
So, you are feeling crafty, huh? Yes, I will help you make a wreath. What kind of wreath did you have in mind, dear? You want succulents. Someone else made one and you saw it on her blog. You can’t get it out of your mind? I assume we are talking faux succulents? Real ones would be a big mess. How could you keep them watered?

Okay, I’ll Google it and see what I can find. Here’s a pretty one at Pottery Barn, but it is $99! We can make it cheaper than that. A lot of cute wreaths are on the internet, but they are all expensive. Pick out one you like and we will use it as inspiration. You like the one at Pottery Barn? That figures.

Step one is to buy some succulents. Dollar Tree has some and a dollar is about what your budget can afford. I have a Styrofoam form out in the garage, and I think I have some dried moss left from my birdhouse project last year. We can run over there and pick some out.

succulents
stems

Now that you have the succulents, let’s get started. We need to take the tags off the plants. Man, these are the stickiest tags I’ve ever seen. Maybe we can cut them off next to the stem and peel off the rest. I guess we need to shorten the stems or they will come out the back of the wreath. They have wire inside the plastic. Watch out! Well, there goes my good scissors.

Now, we can glue the moss on the wreath form to cover it. Where is the glue? You don’t know? That figures. Let me find my Elmer’s glue. Why isn’t the glue coming out? Take the lid off and pour out a little. Yikes! I said a little. What a mess. Go ahead and glue moss while I try to wash off my jeans. I hope it doesn’t glue them to my legs.

formThe moss won’t stick? Maybe it will be okay when the glue dries. Turn it over and do the edges. Oh no, it all fell off. You can’t put it back because it is sticking to your hands, and the table, and getting in on the floor? I think we need a different plan.

How about using a grapevine wreath? We can stick plants in the cracks between vines. I know the stems are too short. We can use a hot glue gun. See, you put a glue stick in, plug it in like an iron and let it get really hot so the glue melts. Then squeeze the trigger and out comes glue. No, not yet! Well, let it cool and we can peel it off, I hope.
layout

Lay them out the way you want them to go. Now put some hot glue on the back of this plant and I will stick it in the vines. Ouch! I said on the plant. Maybe we should have used gloves. That glue made a blister. Anyhow, let’s try another one. This time you hold it. Whoops! It got on your finger? Don’t put it in your mouth! Oh no! Now you will have a blister on your finger and your lip. Maybe we can do the others without burning any more fingers. Be careful, really careful. Ouch, ouch, ouch…

Okay, I must admit it does look pretty good now that they are all glued. Let’s not use any moss between them. The vines look good enough to me. I can’t deal with moss again.

Hang it up on the door and we will call it a day. Whoops! One fell off. Glue it back. Whoops, another one fell off. I wish we had left the stems on them. Maybe no more will fall off if no one slams the door.

Do me a favor. The next time you are feeling crafty, just buy a wreath – or call me and I will buy it for you.

-0-
©2016 Sheila Moss

 

What sort of do-it-yourself crafts do you make? If you have something posted, let me know. Also, what is the best ointment for blisters? 

 

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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites. SUBSCRIBE to my weekly columns hot off the keyboard and not available on my blog: humorcolumnist-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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8 Responses to How NOT to make a Succulent Wreath

  1. Kalista says:

    The hot glue worked the same way when I made mine. I’m so happy my little project (ha!) inspired you. Yours looks great!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m not going to share the DIY projects- might be dangerous to your health and happiness! but…Crisco is wonderful on burns- you should know that one! ;?) go grab that can!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sheila Moss says:

    Thanks for the tip, Camellia. I though Southerners still used lard.

    Like

  4. ladydragon@telus.net says:

    Thanks for the laugh. From the sound and the mess and blisters I think I will let you buy one for me. LOL! I have a metal one that has cats welded on it and a bell at the bottom. No, I did not make it. I bought it years ago. All you need is a hook and it is done, no mess, no fuss, and no blisters.

    I just say that your wreath does look rather nice though. But I think I will also just put out the money and buy one that won’t hopefully fall apart too soon.

    For some reason your mail stopped coming this week. I went to look at my provider provided email site and there they were in the junk folder. I sent this to this mail server and told my regular provider that your mail is safe and not junk. At least now I know where to look again if it happens. I did try to sign up again twice on the website but I did not get a welcome letter from the Yahoo Group. I guess they figured that I am already on the list.

    Have a good weekend and I hope your fingers get to feeling better.

    Lois

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sheila Moss says:

      Every once in a while I stop getting my own newsletter and it goes to spam. Go figure. I think they update the spam blocks or something and anything to multiple users goes away. I like the sound of your wreath and no blisters. I guess mine was worth it, but next time I will use gloves around hot glue. I don’t usually put my new columns on WP, but I did on this one. I usually send to the editors and subscribers first before general public.

      Like

  5. energywriter says:

    Sounds like my craft projects. I didn’t realize other people were klutzes too. sd

    Liked by 1 person

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