What to Wear?

Posted on April 15, 2022 by Sheila Moss

Here we are at that silly time of the year again when it is impossible to know what to wear. Spring is wonderful, but for the fashion-conscious woman, it presents untold problems. While men only worry about how fast the grass is growing and when it will need to be mowed, women worry about whether to wear a sweater or a blouse.

Granted there are much bigger problems in the world, but it is the nagging little day-to-day decisions that can make us crazy.

“I wore a sweater this morning and now I’m sweltering,” said one friend while she fanned herself with the papers she was reading.

I know the feeling. Mornings are cool, so the turtleneck top seems perfectly fine, but later in the day, you wonder what in the world you were thinking and whether you were fully awake when you dressed that morning.

So, you try to find clothes that are “in between”, neither hot nor cold. The little summer tees don’t seem warm enough and the snug sweaters are pushed to the back of the closet. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to have many in between clothes; they are all either summer or winter.

“Layer” advised one of my sensible friends.

So, I pile on the clothes until my arms cannot bend and I am barely able to walk. Then I spend the day taking off garment after garment as the temperature goes higher during the day. By the end of the day, I need a wheelbarrow to carry my clothes home. I am just not the layering kind of person. I want to get dressed once.

When working, the heat situation at the office didn’t help much either. In a large building, they never seem to get the temperature quite right. After a cold snap when the thermostat was high, we smothered while waiting for a maintenance man to come adjust it.

And about the time that it was down to a comfortable level, what happened? You guessed it. It became cold again and we shivered and cursed the weatherman while waiting for maintenance to come turn the heat back on.  The way the sun hit the windows of the building seemed to make temperatures vary a lot as well. Mornings were shady and cool, afternoons sunny and hot.

Meanwhile, we still have the original problem of what in the world to wear without looking like a rag woman or a teddy bear.

I think I have finally figured it out, more or less.  Medium weight pants, neither my light summer ones with the stripes, nor the thick ones like my corduroy favorites. Let’s see, that leaves about three pairs that I can rotate. Then there are the shirts with long sleeves that seem to work pretty well. Top it off with a cardigan sweater and I can pass until the sun starts doing its thing with the windows.

Coats are impossible. While it is cold enough for a coat in the morning, I find myself carrying it on my arm in the afternoon. Time to dig out those fleece jackets and “all weather” coats. All weather? Now that’s a term invented by the fashion industry, well aware of the changing seasons. Nothing is “all weather.” I think it means that it will shed water as long as it isn’t pouring rain and will cut the wind, but not actually keep you warm.

Anyhow, by the time I get this between seasons thing all figured out, it will be summer and time to get rid of jackets and sweaters and go for light-weight bottoms and short-sleeve tops. I’m ready. I’m so tired of dealing with the “what to wear” problem every day.

Now, if I can just figure out something to put on for today, I’ll be good to go.

Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss

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Git ‘er Done

Posted on April 10, 2022 by Sheila Moss

Git ‘er done Larry the Cable Guy advises. I need to clean my closet in the worse way. Perfect, I think as I look out the window. It is pouring rain outside. Spring is here and my closet is stuffed with corduroy, suede, and wool things I will not wear until next winter.

I’m not one of those persons blessed with a walk-in closet. My closet must change with the seasons, which means twice a year I remove all the things that I can’t wear for a while and take them upstairs to the attic, a chore I despise.

Since so many of the clothes are being moved, it is the perfect time to rearrange everything. If I can’t do anything outside, I might as well accomplish something inside. I arrange everything according to color and weed out the not-fit-to-wear for the reject pile. Then I trudge up the stairs with the winter load and back down with the summer load.

At last, I have summer clothes to wear.

To appreciate this you must understand that I am the world’s biggest procrastinator when it comes to getting things done that I don’t like to do. “Why don’t you just do it and get it over with?” my honey always asks. I want to get ‘er done, but I don’t want to do ‘er.  And the longer I put it off, the harder it is to persuade myself to git ‘er done.

Needless to say, it feels really good to get rid of things on my long-term to do list. In fact, it feels so good I decide to do some of the other tasks that I dislike, like organizing my important papers. I hate this one so much that I sometimes put it off for an entire year. Then tax season comes and I hate myself because I can’t find anything I need. It is really wonderful when the task is done and no longer looming before me.

I am on a roll now.

Might as well do another one I’ve been putting off, updating the virus protection on my laptop. That should be easy, why have I put it off? Because, my program downloads never work out. There is always a problem of some sort and I get frustrated and angry with technology. But, I download the stupid update, which seems to go okay. The installation goes okay too, but the program won’t activate. Checking FAQ’s, I find that I have to wait 12 to 24 hours first.

What a crock! I want to git ‘er done!

It has stopped raining now and I decide that maybe I can get those dandelions sprayed after all. I ran out of weed spray while doing this chore a few weeks ago and have not been able to get myself motivated to finish the job. Well, no time like the present. So, I grab the weed spray and am soon outside squirting the little yellow heads that are jumping up everywhere. The only good thing about this task is that it is cool outside after this morning’s rain.

I am marking things off my to-do list like the energizer bunny now. Each item that I mark off gives me a little ting of accomplishment. I don’t know why I keep putting these things off. I have really accomplished a lot for one day.

I decide go to the grocery store only to get cat food, but end up with a shopping cart full of things to bring home and put away. Where did all this energy come from? I don’t know but once I got started, I could not seem to stop.

I had a “Me Day” a few weeks ago, so maybe I’m now catching up. With due respect to the Cable Guy, I guess I will have to call this a Get ‘er Done Day. 

Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss

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What’s a Clavicle?

Posted on April 7, 2022 by Sheila Moss

You have to go to a doctor periodically for a checkup – whether there is anything wrong or not. I try to conveniently forget about my appointment, as I did this past week. However, the doctor’s office called and inconveniently reminded me that I was due there at 8:00 AM.

What was I thinking, an appointment at 8:00 AM? I couldn’t even remember why I was supposed to go back. I dutifully showed up at the crack of dawn and had to wait outside in the hall for the office to open. I was the first appointment. I was checked in, only to find myself waiting again. The doctor had not arrived yet.

When I was finally called, the doctor told me “I don’t have your chart yet. They are bringing it.” Don’t have my chart? It is not as if they have not been expecting me for six months.

So, what do you shoot the breeze about with a doctor while waiting around?

“My back has really been bothering me lately,” I ventured, hoping I could get a steroid shot since I was there anyhow. I could save myself a trip to the orthopedic doctor.

“What medications are you on?” asked the doctor.

Sneaky! Tell him my meds and he will know everything wrong with me. By the time I listed them all, though, the chart arrived. I didn’t remember it being so large. It looked like an unabridged dictionary –probably had as many words as one too.

While he refreshed his memory on my ailments, I told him again about my back. “Doesn’t the Celebrex help that?” he asked.

“Not enough.” I was sure then that he was going to make me go to the orthopedic doctor.

“Well, I can give you a steroid pack,” he said. “It does the same thing. Let’s see, you had blood drawn last time and you are not due for a bone density test” and so on down the list. I guess he didn’t know why I was there either.

“I have had a colonoscopy since last time,” I offered.

The trouble is when there is nothing wrong with you, they find something. He listened to my heart and checked my throat. “I feel a lump,” he said. “Have you noticed it?”

“No.” A lump? I have cancer. I have throat cancer and I don’t even smoke. They will remove my larynx and I’ll have to talk through a hole in my neck.”

“We better have that X-rayed.”

So, I was off to the first floor to wait around some more and get my lump X-rayed.

“How long have you had this problem?” asked the X-ray technician.”

“One hour,” I replied. I did the put-on-a-gown-with-no-back, stand-in-front-of-a-machine-and-don’t-breathe routine while they took photos of my cancer. Then it was back to the doctor for my results.

“You can wait in the doctor’s office.”

His office? I knew it! Cancer! I planned my funeral while the doctor pulled up my X-rays and looked at them.

“Look at this,” he said.

He is going to show me the malignant tumor and tell me how long I have left.

“See,” he said pointing to a white spot on my X-ray film. “You have a displaced clavicle,” he said.

What’s a clavicle? I wondered. “Does anything have to be done about it?” I asked.

“No, not if it doesn’t bother you. I just had to be sure it wasn’t anything else.”

Dear God, I don’t have cancer! Thank you, Jesus! Guess I won’t need that undertaker for a while after all.

“Come back in six months,” he said. Anything else?”

“Er, the prescription for my back?”

I got out of there as fast as I could before he decided to operate.

Going to the doctor can make you sick.

Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss

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Extreme Densification

Posted on April 4, 2022 by Sheila Moss

I was tired. I had been densifying all day. Densifying? Is that a word? Well, maybe I coined the word. It is what happens when an office is being densified. I looked up densification at dictionary.com and it said, “An increase in the density of something.” That was not a big help.

Actually, the word can be applied to a number of different things, but in this case it means to put more people in a smaller amount of space in an office building. It seems that someone in higher management decided that cubicles with high walls were no longer the way to go. When you densify, you put people closer together with low walls in work groups or “pods.”

You probably are not old enough to remember old-style offices where everyone was in the same room and desks were end to end. Your “office” was the top of your desk and the carpet where your chair sat. Phones rang, people chatted, typewriters clacked. I don’t remember if it was efficient. I do remember having to see George pick his nose all day.

Workers, of course, prefer walls and a private space. They don’t give a whit about whether being able to see each other improves communication or efficiency. Somehow, workers suspect that management is more interested in packing people in a small space to improve the bottom line rather than to improve efficiency.

Thing is, they were already remodeling the building floor by floor when they decided to do things a different way. So the remodeled floors had to be redone. Too bad they didn’t think of it sooner. I guess they planned on saving enough money by packing us in like sardines to make up the difference. Perhaps they should call it sardinification instead of densification.

We would not have as much open space after we densified, and we would have to move while the space was being remodeled. We didn’t know where or when, other than soon. All the files had to be cleaned and all extra paper had to go.

Of course, we really needed to clean out the files anyhow. We found paper that went back to the 80’s. Apparently, we had a few hoarders in the past that left for greener pastures and didn’t have an opportunity to clear their offices. New workers came and didn’t know what to throw away and what to keep, so they took the low road and kept it all.

We cleaned, threw out, shredded, recycled and densified until the trash bins regurgitated. I hauled so many loads of unwanted office items to our supply unit that I wore out the cart. I don’t know what we did with our time when we only had to do our job. I had never been so dense in my life.

I still remember when I transferred to my first tiny semi-private office cubicle with four walls (three and a half, actually) years ago. I was able to hang a few pictures and felt very important, like a real person. But no one got a walled office except the big cheeses. Hopefully, they would at least not block the windows this time and we could actually get some natural light.

As far as privacy, my calls were recorded, and my email and Internet usage monitored. My documents were backed up on the mainframe computer, and I was evaluated monthly to be sure I was meeting my goals. There was no such thing as privacy, walls or no walls. Sometimes I wonder what they thought we were doing, secretly cooking meth in our coffeepot?

Densify became the new office buzz word. I couldn’t help but wonder if they would actually complete the project or decide that something else was better and we were dense enough already.

Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss
Edited

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Georgia on my Mind

Posted on March 31, 2022 by Sheila Moss

I’m not going to say that it is hot in South Georgia. After all, there were enough other things going on at the newspaper columnists’ conference that you almost didn’t notice the heat.  However, I should have known that “Macon” was too close to “bacon” for comfort.

The first day of the conference was great.  We were welcomed by the mayor, greeted by distinguished guests from the local university, and met the publisher of the local paper. We had interesting panels and people who talked about writing, the newspaper business, and other stuff columnists are interested in. 

Little did we know we were about to be introduced to the real South Georgia – the one that sizzles. We had dinner at a Big House that once belonged to the Allman brothers. If you’ve never heard of the Allman brothers, don’t feel bad. They apparently were a hippy rock band back in the days of sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll. We had dinner on the grounds and a rock band to entertain us.

Did I mention how hot it was?  No. I am trying to be polite and not to mention the heat.
 
The next day was the big conference day. Nancy Grace was there. Thank goodness it was cool inside since she was wearing a leather jacket.  We expected the worse, but she was actually quite interesting, friendly, and a dynamic speaker. She even brought her mom and her kids and posed for pictures with the attendees.

Did we stay in the nice cool hotel for lunch? No. We went to a park for a picnic in the sun. The food was good southern barbecue and slaw dogs, which people had never heard of but ate anyhow. It would have been okay except for that word that I’m trying not to mention.

After the picnic, we went for a tour of the city and saw all the hot spots where musicians used to hang out. Who could predict that the air conditioning would fail on the trolley? Hot is an understatement, so I won’t mention it. No one passed out, after all.

After we got back to the hotel and cooled off, it was time for dinner at a southern mansion. Did I mention that they did not have air conditioning back in the 1800’s when southern mansions were in vogue? The mansion was gorgeous, antiques, crystal chandeliers, oil paintings, and violin music. But the best thing was the paper fans that were passed around to help us keep cool.

I don’t think I’ve ever eaten turnip green dip before. I tried to stay away from the cheese grits, crab cakes, okra and anything else I thought might make me sick. It was sort of like being at a party thrown by Granny Clampett except there was no crawdad dip – at least I don’t think so.

By now we had removed our jackets, wraps, and anything else that could be removed and were still doing a slow melt down. I fanned myself vigorously and ate cups of ice. As I said, there were enough things going on to make the conference interesting and fun in spite of the South Georgia weather. Can you believe the conference was planned for early May so it would be cool?  

I am trying hard not to mention it, but I still get dizzy when I think of the word I’m trying not to mention.

Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss

Please check out a new (to me) Blog Directory called FeedSpot. If you enjoy humor, you are sure to find a new blog or two that you will like. If you have a blog of your own, you may even want to list it there.

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Southern Places to See Before You Die

Posted on March 26, 2022 by Sheila Moss

In response to travel articles about interesting places in the world or in the U.S., I decided to write a more localized version. At first it was difficult to think of iconic places, but then it became difficult because of the many great places that couldn’t make the cut. Here are my picks:

The South has much to be proud of, and you don’t have to put up with Yankees or go all the way to California to find experiences to remember.

Blue Ridge Parkway: Hwy. 1 in California may be spectacular, but we have the Blue Ridge Parkway, a ribbon of highway across the Appalachians. Talk about wonderful vistas, especially in the fall when the leaves turn red and orange, no place on earth is more scenic or more popular.

Florida Keys: For a unique atmosphere with scenic beauty, how about the Florida Keys? The colors of the ancient coral reefs beneath the sea are breathtaking and the city of Key West is a relaxed, sub-tropical spot that is one of a kind.

Graceland: Visit the home of the late Elvis Presley in Memphis. 141 platinum and gold records attest to the fact that he is the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Thousands of fans have paid homage to his memory, making Graceland the most visited home in America after the White House.

Grand Ole Opry: An entertainment icon featuring legendary country music singers in live performances also broadcast on the radio. The show attracts thousands of visitors from around the world to Nashville.

Myrtle Beach: While many sing the praises of the beautiful sandy beaches of Miami Beach and Pensacola, southerners have discovered their own seashore paradise and Redneck Riviera at Myrtle Beach, SC.

Dollywood: If amusement parks float your boat, you probably think of Disney World, but don’t forget Dollywood, a family vacation Mecca nestled in the Great Smoky Mountains and loaded with rides and musical entertainment. It is only a short drive to the most visited National Park in the U.S.

Hot Springs: Nothing can beat Yellowstone for geothermal activity, for sure, but the South has Hot Springs, Arkansas, our smallest National Park. You can soak in soothing thermal waters and enjoy the pleasures of a natural spa resort in a historic setting.

Colonial Williamsburg: For a taste of colonial times, this restored historic area in Virginia has become a must-see attraction for history that predates the American Revolution. Nearby Jamestown was the first English settlement in America.

Daytona Speedway: Southerners are shade-tree mechanics at heart and big fans of cars and motor sports. Daytona is the Indianapolis of the South and the most prestigious NASCAR racetrack, confirming auto racing as a southern passion.

Stone Mountain: With giant carving of Confederate military leaders, Stone Mountain, GA, has been called the Mt. Rushmore of the South. From Ft. Sumter, SC, where the first shot of the War Between the States was fired, to Appomattox Courthouse where Gen. Robert E. Lee surrendered, the South has an abundance of battlefields and memorials of the War Between the States.

Atlanta: The bustling hub of today’s South, Atlanta is appropriately located in the heart of the Old South. The birthplace of civil rights leader, Dr. Martin Luther King, it claims CNN News headquarters, the Atlanta Braves, Coco-Cola, the Atlanta Aquarium and some nightmarish traffic.

Kitty Hawk: Where the Wright Bros flew the first airplane, and the world was changed forever. The South is still home to numerous aviation and space localities, including Cape Kennedy, NASA Space Museum in Huntsville, AL, and Pensacola Naval Air Station, home of the Blue Angels.

Kentucky Derby: Southerners love tradition and Louisville is host to the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs. Almost as important as the world-class racing is the fashion spectacle of ladies in sundresses and wide-brim hats that make it not only a horse race but a true southern experience.

Rock City: A roadside attraction made famous by “See Rock City” signs on the roofs of barns and red birdhouses, Rock City in Chattanooga is little more than an area of interesting rock formations with a view of the city; however, the success of clever advertising has made it a world-famous attraction.

You are probably making a mental list of your own by now, so grab the camera and the kids, take to the road and see these nearby sites right in our own backyard.

Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss

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The iPad Lesson

Posted on March 23, 2022 by Sheila Moss

Now that you have it, what do you do with it? Today we are going to learn to use an iPad.

Step 1: Turn on the iPad. Where is the button? Just try all of them and sooner or later you will find the right one.

So far so good, now you are ready to actually use it. What do you mean, where is the mouse? An iPad does not have a mouse. It has a touch screen. You use your finger instead of the little arrow. Pretty cool, huh?

Yes, it can do other things, lots of other things. Like what? Well, it can access the Internet for starters. The iPad uses Safari as a browser. Why? Because it is an Apple product. That’s the only reason you need. Touch the blue icon that says Safari. See, it opens up just like Internet Explorer.

It’s too little to read? Tap it twice and it will become larger. Turn the iPad sideways and the screen turns too. Cute.

You can touch any icon to open up an app. App is short for application. No, you are not applying for anything. Apps are program that run on the iPad. Get it?

Don’t get carried away yet. Let me finish explaining some of the features.

The envelope will take you to your email. How does it know? Because your email address and password are in the settings. Settings are complicated. Just take my word for it. They did it at the store when you bought it. You were probably busy deciding what color case you wanted.

How do you write a message? It has a built in keyboard. No, it is not a real keyboard. Just use your thumbs. Don’t worry about errors. It is very smart and will fix your misspelled words. You should like that.

It also has a camera. I know you have a camera already, but now you have two. Okay? Touch the icon. See, the screen shows the picture you are taking. Click the little camera. Watch out! That hole on the back is the lens. Next time, be sure you move your finger first.

You can send texts. That is like email, except different. If you want to make calls, you can call other Apple users with FaceTime. It is a video phone. It shows your face to the person you call and their face to you. Yes, like Skype, except it only works on iPads or iPhones. Why? It was designed that way.

Let’s go on to iTunes. You set up an account with an Apple password and then you can download more apps, like Facebook, Twitter, music and games. Some are free and some cost money. Wait!! Now see what you have done. That was a $9.99 music app you just downloaded. You have to be more careful from now on.

Try a game. Oh, you have heard of that one? It is free. See the slingshot with the little bird in it? Pull it with your finger and try to knock down the pig’s house. I don’t know why they want to knock down the pig’s house. Because they are angry birds! I’m getting that way myself.

Another neat app is called Siri. Hold down the start button. See, she says “What can I help you with?” You tell her what you want to do, like “Siri, what’s the weather forecast.” Yes, you can do it yourself without Siri. No, Siri cannot shoot pigs at birds.

Stop downloading all those games! Stop, STOP, I say!

I give up. Just figure out the rest for yourself. You can’t teach anyone anything these days. Ten minutes on an iPad and they know more than you do.

Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss

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How to Have Nothing to Do

Posted on March 20, 2022 by Sheila Moss

What are you doing this weekend? Probably no one will even read my blog this week because everyone will be out having fun and doing interesting things.

Everyone wants something to do on the weekend. Around here, they go to the lake, go to the mountains, or if that isn’t possible, they go to local events. Personally, if I don’t go out and have experiences, I have nothing to write about.

I remember one weekend in particular when we had plenty of choices but not much incentive.

“So, what are we going to do this weekend?” asked Honey.

“I don’t know; what is there to do?” I yawned.

There was a lot going on in the area on that weekend. For example, the air show at the local airport. When we go to the air show, we always get tickets in advance, buy snacks, and take lawn chairs. Maybe we could make it, but it would be a rush. The Blue Angels were flying. The Blue Angels. They are my favorite flying team.

But it really looked like rain outside.

What did the weather report say? Rain – both today and tomorrow? Who wants to go to an air show when it is raining? “Remember that one year when …” How could I forget? It was rainy and cold. We were lucky that it didn’t pour down, but it did mist and drizzle the entire time. They would not even perform the entire show with a low cloud ceiling. They would modify it to be under the clouds so people could see.

“What do you think? Should we take a chance?” said Honey. He had that I-want-go tone to his voice.

“What else is going on?” I less-than-enthusiastically replied.

Well, there was the steeplechase. That is a horse show where the horses jump over obstacles. Scratch that one. I’m really not into horse races. All the ladies horse up (pardon the expression) in their sundresses and sunhats and people tailgate. I was not up for that, even if I had a sunhat to wear.

Well, what about the Renaissance Festival?

I didn’t want to go to the Renaissance Festival. I’ve been before. And what if it rains? I didn’t want to slosh around in mud all day. Not my idea of fun.

“Let’s ask my grandson which one he would rather do?” He was visiting for the weekend.

“What would you rather do, go to an air show or go to the Renaissance Festival,” I asked. I was sure he would say air show. What kid wouldn’t?

But, he wanted to go to the Renaissance Festival – sword fighting, magic shows, fire eaters. Probably some of his friends at school had been talking about it.

My daughter chimed in. “I can go, but this is the only weekend, so it is now or not at all. Besides, it isn’t raining yet and we can take umbrellas.” Reminded me of London where it rains all the time.

“Do you want to go to the Renaissance Festival?” I asked Honey.

“No, do you?”

So my daughter and grandson went without us. I dug up a couple plastic ponchos, probably left over from London, and away they went.

It was getting pretty late by then, might as well forget about the air show. It would be half over by the time we got there.

As luck would have it, it didn’t rain until late that afternoon.

We procrastinated too long and ended up doing nothing.

How can I write about nothing?

I’m not sure. But I think I just did it.

Copyright 2012-2022 Sheila Moss
Revised

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Doing Damage Control

Posted on March 15, 2022 by Sheila Moss

My email account has been hacked.

It is all over the news when some famous person’s account is hacked. There could be compromising information in their email. It is probably worth hacking to someone who wants to prove a point.

But I’m not a famous person. Who cares what is in my email? Most of what I have to say is public anyhow. If I was targeted, it was for some unfathomable reason, or else my recipe for chocolate chip cookies.

I found out when friends began emailing me. “Did you send this email?” or “I think your email account was hacked.” If you are among the people I correspond with, you most likely received my junk mail too and wondered if I had turned spammer. It will relieve your mind to know there is no “Kit that changed my life.” There is, however, a hacker that changed my life, at least for one evening.

I’ve had my address ripped off before. Most email programs let you send an email using a different address. And the great thing about that, from a spammer’s perspective, is that the email bounces go back to the person whose address was stolen. The thief doesn’t even have to deal with his Internet Service Provider blocking his email address due to SPAM.

This time it was different. Someone got into my address book and sent junk mail to the addresses of private contacts and business associates. Imagine my embarrassment. I avoid putting very many people in my address book and use web mail because some providers are so frequently the target of email viruses.

It was not a virus. I updated my virus definitions and ran another full scan just to be sure. No, this was done by someone who knew what they were doing. Technical articles tell me there are many ways that web email can be hacked: by guessing your password, by guessing the answer to a security question, by using spyware when you sign into email on an insecure computer.

Sometimes the hacker guesses the answer to a security question that is too easy. My password was probably too easy. You should never use common words or phrases found a dictionary. You should also not use the name of your spouse, child, or your pet whose picture is posted in Facebook. I, a writer, didn’t put enough thought into originality.

I’ve tried to secure my account now changing passwords and such. I have a feeling it is like your home, though. If someone really wants in, they will get in regardless of bolts, locks, or burglar alarms. If necessary, they will kick the door off its hinges – or use software that tries millions of passwords until it finds the right one.

The email to contacts was the tip of the iceberg. A ripple effect occurred when it went to groups that I subscribe to with hundreds of members. It was a nightmare trying to delete public posts and explain private ones.

Maybe I didn’t use to be famous, but I’m becoming more famous all the time.

Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss

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Chickweed Chick

Posted on March 11, 2022 by Sheila Moss

The weather has finally warmed up and thanks to several days of showers the ground was damp, perfect for weed-pulling. Maybe if I have another cup of coffee, it will start pouring rain and I will have a perfect excuse to procrastinate again. But it didn’t. I was out of excuses.

It has been so cool that I’ve neglected my duty as far as yard work. I hire somebody to mow the lawn as I long ago decided that by the time you consider equipment, gasoline, labor and time, it is worth the price someone else will charge me to do it.

Pulling weeds is another matter. It doesn’t take any intelligence to pull a week, just a lot of time. To me it is not worth paying someone else to do a job so trivial, so I do it myself. All I’m talking about here are the weeds that have come through the mulch around the shrubs and in my flower beds.

Usually, I stay on top of this job before it gets out of hand. This year, however, there were full grown weeds, pollinating and producing little baby weeds right in my front yard.

I searched for my garden gloves and couldn’t find them, so I decided to go for it bare-handed. The weeds were a low-growing type. I’m not certain if they are called chickweed or something else and they didn’t have an ID to check.

The deed turned out not to be as easy as it looked. It was back-breaking work. I would grab a weed and pull, and it would pull back in an organic tug of war. I learned to grip as close to the soil as possible and wrestle furiously until it gave in. This continued for hours, sending them to weed heaven along with their babies. Seems rather sinister, but weeds are sinister plants.

I worked down the row in front of the shrubs and then down the row behind them. I was flipping weeds over the bushes, angry that I had to do such a menial task, but knowing it had to be done or they would become uncontrollable.

Sure, I could have sprayed them with weed killer, but then they would shrivel slowly, produce as many offspring as possible, turn brown, and look horrible for at least a month. No, it was better to pull them and repair my unsightly yard. I could go back later and spray the ones that were too small for me to pull.

Now some people are opposed to killing anything green and some people are opposed to using chemicals. I’m in favor of anything that makes it easier for me to get rid of an ugly menace destroying my landscape. I will worry about being politically correct after the weeds are dead.

Most of the time the weeds would come out of the ground with my encouragement, but a few of them were the stubborn type. Instead of coming out, they broke off leaving the root in the ground to reincarnate itself.

Finally, however, I finished the dastardly deed. My hands were so black and dirty that I would have to scrub them with soap and a scrub brush to get them clean. Why, oh, why did I do this without gloves? I did not pull the poison ivy and briars. I’m not that dedicated. That can wait until I either find my gloves or buy a new pair.

I raked up the weed piles and stuffed them into a green plastic bag. I was sore all over but happy to get most of the job done. With all the work that I did, you would think I could declare victory over chickweed for a while.

But that isn’t the way it works with weeds. The weeds always win… eventually.

Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss

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