The Creation

planet-earth-140146566849B

1. In the beginning there was no Internet, no World Wide Web, not even email – nothing – just God.

2. The world was without an Information Highway, so God said, “Let there be computers!”

3. God divided the “on” switches and the “off” switches and the first computer was created. He called it Univac, and God saw that it was good.

4. And so the Computer Age began.. this was the end of the first day.

5. Then God said, “Let all the data I have created be gathered together under one operating system and let it be called DOS”…and it was so. DOS was the second day.

6. Then…God tried to write programs in DOS and He said, “Let there be something better than this!” And an Apple appeared…and it was so. The Apple was the third day of computing.

7. Then God said let every computer bring forth fruit after its own kind and the Apple brought forth the Macintosh while Microsoft brought forth Windows…and God saw that it was good.

8. And God set them to rule in cyberspace to spread technology over the face of the earth, and God saw that it was good. This was the end of the fourth day.

9. Then God said, “Let computers bring forth data to fly thru cyberspace and above the earth and in the open firmament of heaven.”

10. And God created the Internet so that all computers would be linked together. This was the fifth day of creation.

11. Then God made AOL to have dominion over the Internet and every web crawler that searched upon the face of the earth.

12. And God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth with search engines.”

13. And God said, “Behold what I have given you. Every computer is linked which is upon the face of the earth – Microsoft and Apple (which is the fruit of the earth). To you it shall give information.”

14. And the World Wide Web, and Google, and Internet Explorer and every programming language and every web browser and every search engine I have given…and it was so.

15. Then God saw everything that He had made and behold it was very good – and this was only the sixth day!

16. Thus the computer was created by God (not Charles Babbage, Bill Gates, or Steve Jobs) and on the 7th day God let the computers start doing the work and He rested. 

©1998 Sheila Moss

 

NOTE: Do you recall your first computer or experience with the world wide web or were you simply born into the computer age and didn’t give it a second thought?

 

Advertisements

About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
This entry was posted in Humor, Technology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to The Creation

  1. I can’t stand the fools that believe Creation starts at Genesis and earth is 6,000 years old. The greatest example of denial ever. Even Jewish scholars accept earth billions of years old and see Genesis as the beginning of the Jewish experience with God not the universe creation.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Blessed are those who have working backup solutions, for their data shall be protected in the event of an unexpected hard-drive crash or power failure.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. energywriter says:

    Good summary of computers. Grins all the way. My first computer experience was when I worked for the phone company in billing. Bills were input by typists. The computers lived in a room the size of my house. The machines inside whirred and pumped out trays of punch cards. My work unit then received the trays and went through the cards one by one comparing them to billing print outs. If a letter or number was punched wrong, we had to place a foil patch over the wrong hole, then punch in the correct item, by putting the card in a large puncher (about 4×12”) on our desks. Then returned the card to its correct place in the tray. We sent the trays back to the computer room which then printed out bills. sd

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s