There’s a new girl down at the health club.  Her name is Spike.  Spike is a nice girl, really she is. She just likes jewelry. Spike isn’t satisfied with wearing jewelry in the regular ways. “That’s too boring,” she says. Spike has a flare for the unusual. She is into body jewelry.

Now just in case you are one of the very few people in the world that does not know what body jewelry is, let me explain. It is somewhat like wearing pierced earrings, except that it is worn in parts of the body other than the ears. You get my drift, don’t you?

Spike has more holes in her body than a Chinese checkerboard. She has so many things pierced that she has lost count. Even Cleopatra didn’t wear as much jewelry. Spike doesn’t get dressed to go out; she gets decorated.

Spike not only has pierced ears, she has pierced eyebrows. And Spike doesn’t just wear a pair of earrings; she wears three sets.  She has worn out several sets trying them out in different places. Spike is offended, though, if anyone suggests that six earrings might be a few too many. She is very proud of the fact that she is “Shopper of the Month” at a body jewelry website and doesn’t even have jewelry for all her piercings.

Spike says she likes to keep a slim figure and doesn’t eat much.  She also doesn’t want to mess up her pierced tongue jewelry. Some of her close friends call her “metal mouth.”  I always thought that meant someone with dental braces. Shows how far behind the times I am, I guess.

I always sorta wondered if the piercing was painful, so I asked her one day. Spike said when she had her navel pierced, she learned to belly dance without lessons. With the gold belly knocker she has for her navel, she would be right at home in a harem.

I wondered if the jewelry would corrode or rust, but Spike assured me that she only wears pure gold or stainless steel. Spike has a captive bead ring for her nose. She is hoping that her boyfriend will give her a diamond gem set belly ring for their engagement instead of an ordinary engagement ring.

She wears her jewelry all the time, even in the shower.  She believes in keeping her valuables close – very close.  She says that she has even pierced her private parts. If I found a stud on the floor, I would be afraid to touch it as I could not be sure where it had been before.

I don’t really see too much of Spike any more. Last I heard, she was having trouble with the new barbell stud in her lip which tried to pop up like a turkey timer. I always felt sort of sorry for Spike trying to get attention by being nonconventional. She considered being called “weird” a compliment, though.

Spikes’ biggest goal in life was a simple one, to be able to wear glow-in-the-dark beads in some place that no one else has thought of.

©Sheila Moss 2000
Edited