Merry Perfect Christmas

bells.jpgDecember 1

Christmas is coming! I’m excited! I can hardly wait to get started with the decorating! I wonder if we will have a White Christmas this year? Wouldn’t that be great?

December 7

Put up the Christmas tree. Get out the ornaments out of storage. Each one has a special memory. Decorating the tree is so much fun! And doesn’t the tree look beautiful with all the shiny decorations and lights?

December 10

Go shopping for gifts. The mall is decorated with greenery and lights. Crowds of people are all shopping for special gifts. Christmas music is playing. I’m really starting to get into the spirit of Christmas.

December 13

I don’t remember wrapping gifts being this much work last year. Maybe I should have remembered to buy boxes. But the wrapped presents do look festive with the holiday paper and bows.

December 15

Go back to the mall – I didn’t get half of what I needed. I can’t find a parking place and have to walk a mile in the cold. I wish they would turn that confounded canned holiday music down. It’s getting on my nerves. And why is everything so expensive?

December 19

Visit the toy store. There seems to be no such thing as buying the toy you want. The manufacture didn’t make enough to meet the demand. The toy I want sold out in October. They are really sorry and will have a new shipment in on December 26th. Where’s Santa when you really need him?

December 21

Attend the annual office party. Make small talk, overeat, and try not to talk about business. Don’t drink too much in front of business associates. Why do we have to have business parties? I’m sick of these people; I see them every day. I’d rather be at home sleeping!

December 22
Snow! Oh, no! Why does it have to snow? I’ll never get my shopping done with that slop outside on the roads. It’s just one more thing to aggravate me. Who wants a White Christmas anyhow?
December 23

The relatives are coming to my place. I gotta cook a turkey, or something. Can’t we just make it a potluck? How about Christmas lasagna? Hope they don’t get bombed on the fruitcake this year.

December 24

Why did I wait until the last minute again? I’ll just run to the local discount store and pick up those last minute gifts. Buy anything, anything! What does it matter? They will return it after Christmas anyhow.

December 25

Christmas is here at last! Santa came; the gifts are under the tree; the snow is glistening outside; the turkey is in the oven. It’s a perfect Christmas! And best of all, it’s almost over till next year – thank God!

December 26

Go return all the gifts I received – nothing fits. Now take down the blankety-blank tree. Pack the stupid decorations in a box. Throw in the confounded lights. Drag the whole mess back upstairs to the attic. Burn the boxes and paper in the fireplace. Clean the entire stinking house. Collapse of exhaustion.

Merry (non) Perfect Christmas!

Copyright 2001 Sheila Moss

About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites.
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6 Responses to Merry Perfect Christmas

  1. energywriter says:

    Funny – and so true! Lucky me – as great grandma I just take a dish to the big dinner. My daughter does all the hard work. And, from the looks of things that will be her job until she falls over. sd

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lois says:

    LOL!!! I get to go to my nephew’s house and his wife cooks up a big banquet every year for both families. I just bring a pie and enjoy the company. Shopping is done and the presents are all wrapped except for the ones that are still in transit somewhere between here and the North Pole. Now I need to start on the tree.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We are having Christmas lasagna from Stauffer’s. Hooray!

    Liked by 1 person

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