Vacation at Home

homeIt is not always necessary to go some place else to have a vacation. A vacation at home can provide a chance to relax and unwind, give you an opportunity to catch up on things you need to do, and save you a ton of money on food, gas, and motel bills. Here are a few helpful suggestions from my personal experience:

Since you are home anyhow, it’s a perfect time to take the car to the dealer for routine maintenance. Pay $382.46 for the defective valve they find – $382 for labor and 46 cents for the part.

Make a dental appointment for that tooth that’s been nagging you. Bill is a mere $565 and dental crown falls off as soon as you get home.

Send daughter on camping trip for an inexpensive getaway weekend. Pay $20 for camping fee, $40 for white water rafting and $229 for incidentals.

Vacation is a good chance to have minor home repairs done while you can be there. Learn that the living room floor has rotted and front door needs to be replaced.

Call the termite inspector. Find out you have termites in spite of the $900 termite treatment you had last year.

Call lawn service to trim the shrubs. Find out the owner has gone on vacation for three weeks.

Call six times about getting screens repaired and leave six voice mail messages. Contractor calls to say he will come Thursday or Friday, not sure what time – be at home.

Get a bid on having the house painted. After looking over the job, painter does NOT submit a bid. Get another bid on having the house painted. After you hear the price, you wish the second painter had not submitted a bid either.

Withdraw your entire savings account and give it to various service and repair people. If there is any money left, flush it down the toilet where the rest of your bank account went.

Look forward to spending some free time for rest and relaxation. Wake up in the morning with a raging sore throat and stuffed up head. Go to local convenience clinic to get sore throat treated. Find that it is a virus that will last 3-5 days, exactly the amount of vacation you have left.

Vow to forget your problems and plan a day of fun at the local spring festival. Find out your partner has been called in to work overtime on Saturday.

Go to bed since you are sick, tired, and can’t afford to do anything else. Just as you fall asleep, the contractor shows up to fix the screens.

Go back to work and rejoice that your vacation is finally over and you can get some rest. Vow that next year you will go to Disney World, as it is much cheaper and less stressful than staying at home.

-0-

What’s your idea of a great vacation? What is the best vacation you have ever had?

©2003

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About Sheila Moss

My stories are about daily life and the funny things that happen to all of us. My columns have been published in numerous newspapers, magazines, anthologies, and websites. SUBSCRIBE to my weekly columns hot off the keyboard and not available on my blog: humorcolumnist-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
This entry was posted in Home, Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Vacation at Home

  1. energywriter says:

    So true and you made it funny. Good job, Sheila. sd

    Liked by 1 person

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