- Walmart is the gift shop of last resort for the entire the population of the U.S.
- Christmas spirit is a mania created by commercial advertisers during October.
- It’s the gift that counts – disregard any information to the contrary.
- Christmas is not for children, it’s to give teachers some time off.
- Never buy a live Christmas tree unless you are a cat.
- Fashion experts say sweaters with Santa and holly are cheesy – which shows what a bunch of scrooges they are.
- The best things in life are free – but department stores didn’t get the memo.
- Christmas gift bags and tissue paper are the best invention since peppermint candy.
- Snow is best when left outside, but preferably not on the driveway.
- The best time to shop for decorations is after Christmas, but who wants them then?
- Regardless of what toy you want, the next shipment will not be until January.
- Give children plastic gift cards and see how carefully they spend their own money.
- There is always room for another stuffed animal – at least in a grandparent’s opinion.
- Regardless of the number of parking places, they will all be taken when you get there.
- Santa Claus really doesn’t care whether you are naughty or nice. He has other things to worry about.
- You always get Christmas cards from the people that you didn’t send one to.
- There is no problem too great for a solution; however, there are many gifts too large for gift boxes.
- Other people’s gifts to you always seem much nicer than what you gave them – and vice versa.
- Silent night is something that happens on Christmas Eve to other people’s children.
- Children’s TV specials are like Santa, on perpetual rerun year after year.
- White Christmas is a phenomena invented by songwriters to make songs nostalgic.
- There is no such thing as a perfect Christmas, especially if you forgot the batteries.
- Contrary to popular opinion, North Pole is in Oklahoma, Santa Claus is in Indiana, and Christmas is in Florida. Depressing, isn’t it?
Copyright 2002 Sheila Moss
This entry was posted in Humor
and tagged children
, Christmas Cards
, Christmas spirit
, Christmas Tree
, Gift Cards
, Naughty or Nice
, White Christmas
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